Abe Beame can follow or lead like Commander Picard I’d imagine somewhere out there a young purist spends his evenings screaming into the void, waiting for his (yes, definitely a dude) generation to come its senses, turn down, and recognize the greatness of Joey Badass, or Big K.R.I.T. or whoever. And it’s understandable. You can’t […]

Torii MacAdams is like all races combined in one man like the ’98 summer jam A decade is a long time to plan for. Even Joseph Stalin, a dictator, only had the temerity to plan in five year increments. The initial plan led to the starvation of millions. The baby-faced DJ Mustard’s ostensible plot for […]

Evan Nabavian will be battling Stalley live on UHF In a coup for investigative journalism, I’ve obtained a copy of Meek Mill’s “2011 Maybach Music Group Weed Carriage Employment Agreement”. I know it’s authentic because it’s on MMG letterhead and because I got it from Gunplay in exchange for a mason jar of cocaine — […]

Harold Stallworth will always roots for the villain. This year’s spring has been absurdly slow in arriving to Washington D.C., but better late than polar vortex. Bidding farewell to old man winter is a bittersweet occasion, seeing as how my dearest strains of music and fashion were born out of blistering winds and torrential snowfall. […]

Kyle Ellison owns 17 Koo Koo Roo’s.  When Rozay released Rich Forever two years ago it felt like almost anything that he laid his mollusk-moisturized hands on could be a certified hit. Maybe those anti-austerity anthems struck a cathartic chord in the heart of the economic crash, or maybe we all just enjoy something we […]

You already knew that Doc Zeus was rooting against all things Miami. The reality of Rick Ross, “rap superstar” seemed absurd even before his fabricated criminal lifestyle came to light. When Rick Ross emerged in Summer 2006, he seemed little more than the fatter, uglier, marginally less authentic version of Young Jeezy – a corporatized […]

Deen never drinks wine and doesn’t eat swine, but if you don’t bring him his motherfucking cognac, he’ll kill you. I think it’s safe to say that few folks still give any fucks about Rick Rawse in 2014. If you disagree then you’re either a stan or as delusional as the man himself. After all, […]

Deen didn’t want to write this, but he had to. Ain’t this some anticlimactic shit? This might be the first reconciliation track between two previously “beefing” rappers that was simultaneously anticipated and unanticipated, if that makes any sense. I knew I was going to write this shit when Rawse tweeted the picture of him and […]

Ricky Rozay finally coming to grips with the fact that he is the rap game Walrus from Alice in Wonderland. Who wants to pay me to go on an oyster binge with Rick Ross? There’s got to be some editor out there willing to do so. Thankfully, Ricky avoids invoking the aphrodisiac powers of oysters. […]

Drawn by Brad Beatson, a weekly comic strip joins your favorite online emporium of rare Papoose Gifs.