| Juicy J, Pill & A Bag Full of Money | December 13, 2012 |
Twas an inevitability that the combination of Juicy J and Pill(s) would mix well. Jordan Houston is for the children. For someone so wholly irresponsible, he is a medicine chest full of good advice. This is what happens when you’ve been making money since 92. Carry a money bag at all times. Never be envious. […]
| Wanted: L.L. Cool for Killing “Ratchet” (2004-2012) | October 8, 2012 |
Max Bell is LL Cool J’s grandson. You may or may not say no to ratchet pussy. It’s no secret that Juicy J can’t. He doesn’t apologize for it. He has no qualms with all that comes with the cheek clapping. He pops bands and revels in the ratchet On the flip side, LL Cool […]
| American Ratchet: Juicy J, 2 Chainz, The Imp of Trukfit & The Bands a Make Her Dance Video | September 24, 2012 |
I will defer to the YouTube commenter who claimed that Juicy J is a gangsta rap fairy godfather teaching the youth the secret to taking strippers home. Whoever wrote that is the greatest critic alive. When lexicographers study the meaning of the word “ratchet,” they will watch this video and the original gem that set […]
| Haiku Reviews: Big Sean – “Detroit” | September 10, 2012 |
Slava P suffers for the world’s sins. Higher Hypnotic drums bears and expected skeltonics break down Sean’s big grind. 24k of Gold ft. J. Cole Whiny luxury. Truly a song that only Big Sean could create. Story by Common Weird uncle Common tells stories of visits to horrible wing spots
| “YO B!TCH” Lamentably Chose Juicy J & Twista | August 31, 2012 |
Somewhere in America, there is an unseen silent minority of crestfallen men whose girlfriends have left them for Juicy J and/or Twista. Maybe a support group is in order. This is what you get for dating ratchets. You already know about Juicy J’s lack of ratchet restraint. To employ the words of Ghostface: you’re goddamn […]
| You Say No to Narduwar, Juicy J Can’t | August 7, 2012 |
In which, the pair talk DJ Spanish Fly, Memphis hamburger joints, Interstate BBQ, Willie Hutch, Audio Two, Johnnie Taylor, Tela, how to get two snowbunnies into a bathtub, and trippy sticks. If Narduwar was on Adventures in Hollywood, it never would’ve been canceled. Deen’s late-period Juicy J comp remains groovy. You should download it if […]
| Juicy J, Responsible Lifestyle Advocate | June 27, 2012 |
Juicy J is the only man who can make 2Chainz seem like Mitt Romney. 37 is the new 20. No one can advocate the complete absence of any responsibility quite like Jordan Houston. He is the Michael Jordan of both kinds of rap: ignorant and satanic. Still awesome against all odds. People bitch that they […]
Jimmy Ness is well aware that this is the season of the ratchet. 2 Chainz, Drake, Future, Juicy J. Mike Will’s stellar production has steadily been tricking me into liking rappers I think I shouldn’t. My inner rap snob dies a little each time Juicy J’s strip club anthem knocks my ears, but this song’s […]
