Image via Kal Banx/Instagram
Steven Louis has this week’s recs, but first, he’s going to explain The Weezy Wipeout.
If this installment of the Rap-Up is a day or two late, it’s because of The Weezy Wipeout. I take no pleasure in reporting this to you all, but I accept my journalistic responsibility to do so. The Best Rapper Alive had a rare arena show on Saturday, and my fiancé and I were not going to miss it. Neither of us had seen Wayne live before, and we both considered it a generational, bucket-list-type event horizon. Were we particularly enthused to drive out to Ontario (California, not Canada, you weirdos)? No, we were not. Did we understand why one of the biggest rap stars of all time was playing out here? Nope. My working theories were a non-compete radius from a prior Los Angeles booking, a tryout with the NBA G League’s Ontario Clippers, or an elaborate side-mission to play all the strangest tertiary markets — and it’s for sure that last one, as the next tour stop is Albany, NY.
The Toyota Center (maximum capacity 11,089) is primarily used to host the Ontario Reign, a minor-league hockey team under the LA Kings. Among its past tenants were the Los Angeles Temptation of the Lingerie Football League, the Inland Empire Strykers indoor soccer club, and the PBR Built Ford Tough Series in bull riding. I do not know what’s been going on at those other events, but on Saturday night, this place was soaking wet, a scene eclipsing Chow Lee’s wildest tapestry. I think the average ticket holder spilled somewhere between 1.4 – 1.7 full drinks on the floor of the Toyota Arena. I guess the crowd was faded — doors opened at 6 pm, and both openers Jeremih and Lil Kim were laughably behind schedule, to the point that Wayne didn’t pop out until after 11.
Yes, he is remarkably good, even in his third decade of professional rapping. No backing track, no fumbled bars, live drumming, and he’s a charmingly gracious performer. He hits “Let the Beat Build” with a bluesy kick, and rips through his golden era of feature verses without going through the motions. He played “Money On My Mind” and “Hustler Muzik” from Tha Carter II, and unearthed “Shoes” from No Ceilings. It would’ve been worth a drive to Ontario, the Canada one.
And then, The Weezy Wipeout. I really can’t emphasize how slippery this entire arena seemed to be by the end of the night. I’ve thankfully avoided serious injury, despite my deeply unserious Charlie Brown-ass cartoon fall down the steps. Jeff suggested that I ask for a lifetime supply of Trukfit or Toyotas, whichever clears legal faster. All I went for is an extra day extension on this column. Hope it was worth it. I will never, I will never, I will never fall. This writer is absolutely being hated by the seasons.
Back Porch Mob – “Take It Easy”
There’s a remarkable amount of early Odd Future cypher energy on this one. Eugene, Lyrix and Back Porch Sov volley mischief raps and open portals to cartoon worlds. “Take it Easy” is music to dodge falling pianos to. The north Florida conglomerate works with an inspired and chaotic palette — ClutchDust’s album art has Shaq smiling next to that Animated Insurance General With the Huge Mustache, while Sov’s covers include Teanna Trump’s mugshot and a grinning JFK with gold fronts. The bassline here is slithering and muddied; the jars are filled with formaldehyde and shrunken heads. According to this delegation, it’s been a summer of cannolis, pork chops, rubber bands and wax budder. Let’s see what they have in store for the colder, darker months to come.
Kal Bankz – “HOP OUT CHO FEELINGS” (feat. Smino & Buddy)
Of a greater sophistication but equally buoyant are Kal Banx, Smino and Buddy on the latest TDE drop. Visually, we’re in a bottle episode for “Hop Out Cho Feelings” — the trio rolls up and smokes a carousel of joints in the home studio, then laughs at videos on the smart TV before hauling a ribeye steak onto the grill with a fishing rod. Banx remains an elite repurposer of soul loops, creating a vortex of warm air for Smino’s double-time raps to rise in. The Saint Louis savant has a melodic and percussive flow to rival prime Busta Rhymes, and a comic timing that makes him one of the best feature verse artists in the game. “I always sat down for the Pledge of Allegiance,” he laughs. “I manifest anything I need / any pussy, any weed, any plug on a power trip / fuck a plug when the whole team is a power strip.”
Tniyah – “Favorite”
New Jersey songstress Tniyah sounds like she just locked up the top spot at 106 & Park. “Favorite” is structured like an early 00s R&B / rap jam with an updated delivery. Anything sampling Lumidee’s “Never Leave You” is opening at -500 odds for a banger. I’d also like to shoutout 4 Only Shooters’ From the Block series. It’s one of the few places I’m finding new artists — not all are great, but most are interesting at a minimum and get visually creative in their pin drops.
Coach Joey & BlueBucksClan – “Bestfriend”
A Mustard-coded neon breeze that’s exactly how it looks in the commercial. Detroit’s Coach Joey sounds comfortable on a West Coast club beat, bragging about blowing money and how his “best friend” can make jeans look like stretch pants. Their inside jokes must be so wild, she is really laughing and smiling around him, huh? While Jeeezy Obama has the bigger vocal presence in BlueBucksClan, it’s often DJ keeping the music idiosyncratic and colorful — “fourth quarter yelling why TF Batum in?” is an all-timer, of course. Here, he skates on a quick 16, promising that bestie’s boyfriend would have a stroke if he only knew what was really going on. Joey’s latest drop also features 03 Greedo and Big Sad 1900.
Ghostface Killah – “Pair Of Hammers” (feat. Method Man)
Two different Ready to Die invocations in the first 30 seconds. Dusting us like Training Day. Is that Johnny Blaze in the opening credits? Tical and Ghost certainly know their audience. “Pair of Hammers” is a back-to-back matching tracksuit buddy joint that sets the clock back in under three minutes. Between the Josh Norman reference and the hearty “what are thooooose?!,” I can only assume that this was first recorded in 2016. No matter, because Method Man having more glocks and techs than us is an everlasting truth. ”Wu Tang is for the children, Thanksgiving’s for the pilgrims / my thumb’s for counting ones but this middle is for your feelings.” There’s a wholesale quantity of MDMA in Ironman’s date’s breast implants. This should absolutely be the New York Islanders’ 2024-25 season anthem. Here’s hoping your momma will eventually stand next to you.
