Steven Louis is still sitting shiva for the death of the Bud Knight.
February is a neo-liberal market aphrodisiac. Yup, the Day of the Valentine is here, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it (please, don’t try, we’ve lost too many to the Valentine). You’re going to have to think about romantic love. You’re going to buy some shit. You’re going to get all kinds of sterile sex playlists and love song rankings. The algorithm loves love. It’s here that I can offer you an alternative: that organic shit, farm-to-table quality Valentine jams. Hand-picked, mouse-clicked, in a really chill font. Thanks for being such a woke consumer. I love you.
Falling in love is good. The songs are good too, I promise. ♫ It should be about trust. ♫ Please feel obliged to fall in love as you listen along. No pressure, either way. Here are the songs!
“No Letting Go,” Wayne Wonder
This will one day be my wedding song. This should be everyone’s wedding song. It’s so good. I would get married just to hear this song in a public setting. It’s wild that Drake hasn’t touched this yet.
“Soldier,” Destiny’s Child (w/ Tip & Wayne)
Second verse…god damn. This is Lil Wayne’s first top-ten Billboard single. “Soldier” dropped in 2004 but remains algorithmically-flawless content for 2019: it has Beyonce, and dogs, and it shows A LOT of RESPECT to the TROOPS.
“I’m Real,” J. Lo & Ja Rule
“We didn’t kill anybody.” Hah, remember when Ja Rule had that rationalization? Well, this is the Murda Remix. This time … someone is going to get SHOT…
*DJ Whoo Kidd tags & streamers go off*
…by Cupid! Now we’re cooking with gas. And what are we cooking? We’re cooking love, with recipes from the 46th President of the United States. You crazy for this one Rick.
“One Call Away,” Chingy
Ball is life? Nah. Ball is WIFE. Love & basketball are things that go together sometimes, and who better to run point guard for your heart than Chingy? In what looked like a competitive and talented pickup run, Chingy delivered the game-winning assist. Unselfish; graceful; clutch. Chingy is for lovers.
“Arms of a Stranger,” Kevin Gates
Kevin Gates once rhymed “dinner and a movie” with “finger in ya booty.” He doesn’t do it in this song, though. I just wanted you to know that. This one is an aching, beautiful love song that you might not have known about. “And every time the leaveeeees staaaaart changiiiiiing, it’s the loneliest time of year.” Gets me every time. Kevin Gates interpolating Nicholas Sparks, that’s the grown folks way.
“Hello,” Erykah Badu & Andre 3000
Andre took the parlay & was indeed present at graduation. Erykah glided through the garden to join up. The two seem so cool with each other. “Don’t chaaaaange, squirrel,” they giggle and croon. Platonic lovers, exemplary exes, interplanetary geniuses, Squirrels of Love. The good shit.
“Trade it All,” Fabolous w/ Jagged Edge & Diddy
Trading away Porzingis is so fucking stupid, wow.
“Fantasy,” Mariah Carey & ODB
IMO, this is even more romantic and charming than Meth & Mary J on “All I Need.” Anything that samples “Genius of Love” is playing with house money. What a groove. Whatchya gon do when you get out of jail? “Genius of Love” might be a prison abolition jam? Rate & subscribe plz.
“Ball w/o You,” 21 Savage
For those ballin iso right now. Free Shéyaa Bin Abraham-Joseph.
This slowed & throwed remix of “Return of the Mack”
You’re officially in love now. The crowd is absolutely losing it. Go get that shit notarized & laminated.
