Thomas Johnson would go to the gym if they played 2 Chainz.
In a world that’s more sober with each update, 2 Chainz has become a blessing taken for granted. There’s few MC’s in their prime closing in on forty. Of those, how many could still proudly, un-ironically, refer to themselves as Tity Boi? Three, maybe four. Even from that handful, none but 2 Chainz could have provided the genius that is “Watch Out.”
Maybe there’s a little 2 Chainz in all of us? Maybe Tauheed Epps wants everyone to know they shouldn’t take themselves seriously, be it the young pianist rocking Jordan’s at his recital, the “Why The Fuck You Lyin’” guy, a child in his unimpressed mother’s arms, or both ends of the spectrum at Gold’s gym. Regardless, I’ll give you 30 seconds before you lose your cool amid throws of laughter. Chainz’ oversized, somehow perfectly fitting head adorns all these characters. He becomes them even if they could never become him. Pushups. Winning a foot race. Coming in second. Third. Rivaling Action Bronson’s dunk maneuvers. It’s all in a days work. It’s comforting to know he struggles with triceps extensions too.
2 Chainz thrives on simplicity. Everything he does is effortless. His best work leaves little to the imagination, preferring impulse and instinct. For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction; more Xanax means increased speech impediment. Owning a big booty results in the name Big Booty, etc. etc. “Watch Out” is his least gaudy single to date. Five keys, carefree bragging, barely-there bass. He rarely acknowledges another presence, and only downsizes it when he does. It’s his creed; You gettin’ mad, he’s gettin’ rich.
Last year’s Trap-A-Velli Tre was an underrated and consistent addition to his catalogue of similarly described material. Considering the time of year it dropped, there’s no shock it was lost in the slipstream of Drake’s bullying and Meek’s constipation. A shame, it was leagues more fun than their debacle. 2 Chainz will continue to make ground level, straightforward trap that will ceaselessly draw the ire of puritans hip enough to wander into the Youtube comment section. It will, I assume, continue to be great.
