Will Hagle is sorting through scholarship submission tapes
Over a Weeknd loop on the intro track for 100% Juice, Juicy J explains that he made this mixtape as motivation for the overly-stressed. He’s right. There’s some stupid ass shit happening right now. I’m becoming increasingly discouraged that his recommendation to turn up and not worry about it is the right way to solve things, but at least it’s working for him. He certainly makes a good case. If this tape was made to motivate, Juicy J is as inspiring as Leroy Smith. He makes us all want to lead a more carefree lifestyle. Only Wiz Khalifa in the background saying “take another dab blow the smoke out like it’s hookah” makes that seem like a bad idea.
The message is nothing new. Most rappers Juicy J’s age would have softened, “evolved” or faded away by now, but he’s been preaching the same hedonistic parable for his entire career. He’s never once reinvented himself, yet he’s continued attracting new audiences. His drug advocacy translates to the younger EDM crowd; his Taylor Gang affiliation brings him new fans with even worst taste. He could say the same things on the same beats for the next 20 years and everyone in the retirement home will still be living vicariously through him. Time passes but Juicy J doesn’t notice. He’s the musical equivalent of the girl at the beginning of Austin Powers 2. He just won’t die.
100% Juice is more than proof that Juicy J is still alive. It’s also an example of his ability to quickly throw together a collection of loose songs that sound better than albums some artists spend years on. “Scrape” starts with a snippet of Kanye at the VMAs from a few weeks ago, and it ends with Juicy J telling us he’s recording the song in a big ass Vegas suite. He starts “Tap Back” with a quick story about the club he went to last night, then says he plans on returning that night. If he did go back, the song he made in the interim wouldn’t have sounded out of place on the DJ’s playlist. True talent doesn’t take effort.
Juicy J makes consistency look easy. He crushes 808 Mafia and Lex Luger beats 20 years into his career with the effortlessness of an aged Derek Jeter. The chemical ingestion also helps. 100% Juice is a misleading title only because Juicy J himself is at least 25% lean, 50% THC. The rest is a secret ingredient, but I think in Spanish it’s pronounced ‘frijoles.’ “Mix It” lets you know the recipe doesn’t really matter. As long as there are at least two ingredients involved, something good will happen. Even Juicy Juice adds Vitamin C.
100% Juice also adds Lil Herb, Project Pat, Future, Boosie, GOD, and Lil Wayne. Wiz Khalifa mentioning FaceTime, Netflix and Apple TV in the same verse should disqualify him from making that list, but he’s on there too. Wayne’s feature on the Mike Will-produced “Ms Mary Mack” is being pushed as the tape’s single, but it’s Herb’s verse on “Aint No Rapper” you should be paying attention to. The “Film” remix is also worth watching, mostly because Boosie was cast in this one (like how The Dark Knight was better than Batman Begins because of Maggie Gylenhaal). GOD is good, too.
Most juice is a scam, a $10 pre-packaged bottle with empty promises of health benefits. 100% Juice is exactly what you expect it to be. There’s no clever packaging, no tricks, nothing new. It’s just another free Juicy J tape, yet listening to it loudly will enrich your life more than Naked or Odwalla ever could. The song that sums up both 100% Juice and Juicy J’s current career status while also sounding good at a loud volume is “Still.” The chorus is “I’m still getting money, still riding fly, still poppin’ bottles, still getting high.” The reason? “Because I know you watching.”
