Torii MacAdams is the Symbol of the Fatherland’s Unification
Jay Rock ft. Ab-Soul, Schoolboy Q, Kendrick Lamar – “Vice City”
“Vice City” is a flaccid posse cut seemingly based on the premise that everyone in Black Hippy should imitate Kendrick Lamar’s most hiccuping flow. It’s Lamar, rather than Jay Rock or Schoolboy Q, who dictates the song’s momentum and tone. A song called “Vice City” should never, ever be helmed by the introspective member of a group. Rock and Q are much more convincing hedonists than Lamar; To Pimp A Butterfly was so heavy-handed in its moralizing that it’s even cast a pallor over Lamar’s low-stakes work.
It’s time for Black Hippy to consider jettisoning Ab-Soul. He says that his “Mental window [is] blurry as a bitch,” and describes himself as “More spiritual than lyrical.” Ab-Soul already raps like he’s tripping over a coffee table, and his trite, Facebook-worthy existential mumblings only serve to further emphasize the gulf in quality between he and the rest of Black Hippy. Schoolboy Q unintentionally (?) takes a shot at Ab-Soul when he raps “You be talkin’ boss, sayin’ big words like ‘philosophies’/Man you weird, homie/But it sounds to me you’re broke as fuck and your bitch gon’ leave/And that’s real, homie.”
Hurricane Chris ft. Kevin Gates – “To The Money”
Someone call the National Hurricane Center and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration! Board up your windows! Sound the warning sirens! We have a Category 5 Hurricane Chris making landfall! “Hurricane Chris” is imparted with probably undeserved negative connotations–”Ay Bay Bay” was eight years ago, and, more importantly, “To The Money” is excellent. I may be flirting too heavily with apostasy by writing this, but Hurricane Chris is Kevin Gates’ equal on “To The Money.”
Rich Homie Quan – “No Sleep”
Rich Homie Quan’s late April mixtape If You Ever Think I’ll Stop Going In Ask RR was overshadowed by Young Thug’s Barter 6, released two weeks earlier. It was a duel Quan was never going to win. While Thugger’s deservedly garnered plaudits for his album and single with Jamie xx, “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times),” and generated hype for the unspellable forthcoming Hy!£UN35, Quan’s flown under the radar. “Flex,” from If You Ever…, was a summer jam for those familiar with LiveMixtapes, and his subsequent releases have been equally light, enjoyable fare. “No Sleep” is “N.Y. State of Mind” made by a warbling Atlantan–different city, different generation, same motivations.
Post Malone – “#Mood”
Post Malone rightfully apologized for saying “nigga.” Then he made made “#Mood” to address the Internet “hate” he’s received. A note to this wispy-mustachioed doofus: people don’t like you because you’re an industry plant who carelessly (ceaselessly, even) appropriates black cultural mores, not because of a (theoretically) isolated incident. Eminem and Action Bronson were both humble enough to apologize for the same offense without blaming it on jealousy.
Fredo Santana – “How You Want It”
Fredo Santana’s “get money gut”–a term coined by the South’s preeminent prenatal rapper, Gucci Mane– is respectable. And by “respectable,” I mean “life-expectancy shortening.” The “get money gut” is the rap version of gout, historically nicknamed “the disease of kings” due to the relatively lax dietary and exercise standards required for attaining high levels of uric acid in one’s blood. The “get money gut,” as best I can tell, is the result of a poor diet, a lack of exercise, and the constipative effects of codeine cough syrup. Fredo Santana effectively has the body of an over-medicated, house-ridden retiree. Or a rap star.
Migos – “Look At Yo Bitch”
As you’re reading this, an eighth-grader in Atlanta is mocking their friend (or their friend’s girlfriend) with “Look At Yo Bitch.” Someone is standing behind them impersonating Quavo’s “Ew!” and “Ugh!”
“Look At Yo Bitch” includes three Instagram-related insults: “You got all them followers on IG/That’s why she’s fuckin’ wit ya’,” “She got all of these followers/Lil’ mama really ain’t shit,” and finally “She sucked my dick for an IG pic.” How many Instagram followers does one need before it results in sexual favors? It’s not 208, is it?
Slim Jesus – “Drill Time”
The “Drill Time” video begins with a poorly worded warning: “Any props used in this video that show resemblance to any illegal materials are merely props and should not be taken seriously. Don’t try this at home.” “Don’t try this at home”? The most dangerous aspects of the “Drill Time” video are the possibility of paper cuts from the small pile of dollar bills being thrown haphazardly, or temporary blindness resulting from a fake red dot scope being pointed directly into one’s eyes. I don’t think the green residue fake gold often leaves behind is a health risk.
