Harold Stallworth sips the Pora and listens to Cappadonna.
Last Thursday, I made an impromptu visit to “Fuego,” a Maryland strip club nestled behind an industrial strip off Kenilworth Avenue. It’s the neapolitan ice cream of adult entertainment. Three different exotic dance troupes, divvied by ethnicity, take turns occupying the main stage in half-hour rotations. The house DJ plays to the concept by spinning urban radio fodder, reggaeton or, presumably (the vanilla team apparently called in sick this particular evening), acoustic John Mayer ballads, depending on who’s up to bat.
Whenever the chocolate team approached the plate, Juicy J governed with an iron fist. Nearly every song that wasn’t pulled from Stay Trippy featured an outsourced verse from Three 6 Mafia’s 38-year-old torchbearer. That’s when it dawned on me—2013 is the year of the proverbial “old head.” To recap: Juicy J is the cornerstone of strip club setlists nationwide; Jay-Z’s glorified cell phone advertisement went double platinum; Albert Einstein is arguably this year’s strongest full-length outing; and even Drake, our forlorn Canadian overlord, concedes that Wu-Tang is forever.
For evidence of the latter bullet point, refer to Raekwon’s glorious “Marble Cake” freestyle, in which he hijacks Boi 1-Da’s hi-hat deprived, cigar-smoke-filled “Pound Cake” instrumental to promote his forthcoming retail album, “FILA.” Rae narrates a day in the life of a Don through rose tinted Gucci ski goggles—draped in gaudy camouflage leather, alligator poaching off the Gulf Coast. Drake’s in-house orchestrator should consider moonlighting for the old guard in the off-season. Quite a few relics of the 90’s still have premium fuel swirling in the tank.
