Zaytoven, Guwop and the Case of the Stolen Ice Cream Cone

Harold Stallworth looks like PJ Brown.

Chalk it up to our collective pessimism for the fate of humanity or John of Patmos’ enduring delusions, but the future has long been typecast as an apocalyptic clusterfuck. At the moment, no one is more adept at soundtracking the future than Zaytoven. His instrumental for Gucci Mane’s “Stealing” is sparse and lonely, drawing from a world ripe with three-breasted harlots, seventh seals and laser cats. Lots of laser cats. It’s the best kind of minimalism; Kanye West wishes he had this much restraint.

Gucci is in rare form here, compressing “Jordan” into a single syllable and comparing his bulky diamond earrings to artesian water. For all his salacious antics, it’s easy to forget that Guwop’s one of the most influential street rappers of the last decade. OJ Da Juiceman makes a brief cameo as well, because bricks don’t move themselves out the Texaco, especially amid post-nuclear fallout.

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