10 Qualities Highly Sought After in a Regulator As Gleaned From Warren G & Nate Dogg’s “Regulate”

Another one from the archives. Circa 2008 vintage. RIP Nate Dogg. 1. Not being just any geek off the streets How To Avoid Being A “Geek Off the Streets: Learn how to how be to handy with the...
By    March 22, 2011

Another one from the archives. Circa 2008 vintage. RIP Nate Dogg.

1. Not being just any geek off the streets

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How To Avoid Being A “Geek Off the Streets: Learn how to how be to handy with the steel and earn your keep.

Best Models to Emulate: Gay steel workers, Andrew Carnegie, Iron Man

2. Not Tweaking When You See a Car Full of Girls

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How To Avoid Tweaking When You See a Car Full of Girls: Drink less coffee.

Best Models to Emulate: Nate Dogg, Warren G, Dylan McKay

3. The Wisdom to Avoid Dice Games on 21 and Lewis

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How To Avoid Dice Games on 21 and Lewis: Consult AOL City Search for a more suitable and safe environment to find games of chance and miscellaneous sinning.

Worst Models to Emulate: Pete Rose, Nicky Arnstein. Dice Raw


4. The Ability To Glide And Swerve So Hard That You Make Hookers Hit the Curb

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How To Glide and Swerve Properly: Malt liquor.

Best Models to Emulate: E-40, Too Short, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

5. The Will To Pull Out Your Strap And Lay Busters Down (If Necessary)

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How to Obtain This Will: Nihilist German Philosophy.

Best Models to Emulate: Nietzsche, Heidegger, Buster Keaton.


6. A Facility In Switching One’s Mind Back To “Freak Mode”

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How to Switch One’s Mind Back Into Freak Mode: A long walk and a few Zen Buddhist chants.

Best Models to Emulate: Freeky Zeekey, Freaky Tah, Rick James.

7. Getting Girls to Ask You For Rides

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How To Get Girls To Ask You For Rides: Rims, malt liquor and/or blunts. (May only work in the LBC.)

Best Models to Emulate: Jeff Gordon, 2Pac, Anyone with the last name Dogg.

8. Directions to the East Side Motel

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How To Get Directions to the East Side Motel: Google Maps

Best Models to Emulate: Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Eric Schmidt

9. Knowledge that Rhythm is Life and Life is Rhythm

How To Obtain Such Knowledge: G-Funk Classics Volume 1 & 2.

Best Models to Emulate: Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation 1814,The Eurhythmics, Snap’s “Rhythm is a Dancer”

10. Smoke Like Nate Dogg Smokes

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How To Smoke Like Nate Dogg Smokes: Be high every day.

Best Models To Emulate: Redman, Hunter S. Thompson, Nate Dogg.

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