How did Sach O get home last night?
Bass. How low can you go? Plenty low apparently because after two continuous nights of getting my chest caved in by pounding sub-frequencies while imbibing a pirate’s share of rum, I can assuredly say I need a slight reprieve from Dubstep and its siblings. Captain Morgan and Jack Sparrow are a dangerous team. So we move on from rum and rumbling sub-bass to cinematic Rumba,* whose languid instrumentation and swingin rhythms form a perfect tonic for the recovering writer attempting to piece together what happened during his overly refreshed night.
First, to soundtrack the action itself, I recommend The Renaldo The Ensemble, an absurdly named absurdist theater troupe/recording group, whose not so absurdly named “Rumba” delivers a high-energy take perfect for reliving the night from hell. Crooning campy lounge lizard come-ons , The Renaldos’ joyfully post-modern take on the style helps recreate the absurdity of the past evening.
Step two–the the hazy off-kilter rumba version of Wong Kar-Wai’s 2046 theme. The wheezy violin capturing the feeling of the morning after, the swirl of nausea and regret, the dubious interrogations: Where am I? Why is the ceiling covered in KoRN posters? How can I get out of here as quickly as possible without damaging the delicate ecosystem of bong smoke and mold?
The final step is Tom Waits’ “Straight to the Top” [Rhumba version], high speed chase music for your escape, preferably with a few grams of the kush whose remains permeate the air of your unintended temporary resting place. Waits’ genre appropriation is hauntingly tribal and sounds like it was recorded in the same Holy-Ghost haunted basement as The Rolling Stones’ Exile on Mainstreet–the sounds of fight night drifting in and out, like the headache you’re most likely experiencing. Follow these steps and you should make a full recovery and make it home alive. Once you get there however I recommend a tall drink of water, as much silence as your pad can afford and some smoke. Hopefully you grabbed that Kush I told you about.
* Or post-modern takes on it, as there won’t be any digital crate-digging this morning. Apologies to O-Dub and anyone expecting old records.
Download:
MP3: The Renaldo The Ensemble – Rumba
MP3:2046 Theme (Rhumba Version)
MP3: Tom Waits – Straight to the Top [Rhumba]
