Phone Went West

I was supposed to have a different post up today, but fate struck in the form of my cell crumbling in my palm last night. Yes, you heard me right, it literally crumbled in my palm. You see a car...

By Jeff Weiss July 13, 2007

I was supposed to have a different post up today, but fate struck in the form of my cell crumbling in my palm last night. Yes, you heard me right, it literally crumbled in my palm. You see a car backfired, I juggled it, caught it in mid-air and when I opened up my hand, it looked like it had been guillotined. I didn’t even know such a thing was possible.

Naturally, I have no land-line (thanks telemarketers), so I’m forced to drop everything to go into the Verizon Store to get it fixed. I anticipate this trip will take roughly the run-time of listening to the new T.I. record back to back and will probably be even more dull (if such a thing is possible). The thing about going to a Verizon store is no matter what time of day you roll up , you can always count on a few things to occur: you will wait in a long line while listening to Fergie. Secondly, you will encounter an employee who will give you some sort of static, involving the phrase, “uh…sir your plan doesn’t cover that.” Third, mid-way through the second hour you will fantasize about committing some sort of mass murder involving a cell phone lighter charger , three of the four Black Eyed Peas (that App. D. App fellow can stay, just because) and a pack of double AA batteries. Maybe that’s just me. Either way, I’m just hoping the gods of cellphone maintenance take mercy on my soul. Pray for me.

Download:
MP3: My Morning Jacket-“Phone Went West”
MP3: The Firm-“Phone Tap”