Guy Groups: 5 Men, One Dish

Ian Cohen has written arguably the funniest article you’ll read all year. It involves male vocal groups, orgies and mixtapes.  I’ll leave it at that.

Download:
MP3: Hot Chip-”We Looking For A Lot of Love”

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Idolator-New Atmosphere Video Reveals Slug to Be Long-Lost Member of Soul Asylum

I’m aware that it’s reductive to be like, “yo, Slug, why don’t you come out with that Overcast-type shit.” It’s not 1997 anymore and artists need to evolve. I get it. But “Guarantee” is not good. Sure, it’s a noble failure, but c’mon dude, emo rap-rock is not the future, despite what Wentz and Durst might tell you. I’ve scrawled some mean-spirited thoughts at Idolator about the new Atmosphere video. If you need me I’m going to be bumping “1597,” and wallowing in nostalgia.

Idolator-New Atmosphere Video Reveals Slug to Be Long-Lost Member of Soul Asylum

MP3: Atmosphere-”1597″

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American Idolatry

I will be guest-blogging for Idolator today. In the words of Snoop, “follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me, but don’t lose your grip.”

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Dengue Fever-”Seeing Hands”

Via Buzz Bands

Things I am okay with as of Thursday, March 6: Tuna tartare, Pau Gasol’s ability to clean up on the offensive glass, and Cambodian psych-pop, specifically LA’s Dengue Fever.

MP3: Dengue Fever-”Seeing Hands”

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ODB Birthday Party

What’s that you say? ODB? He’s been been dead for five years? A minor technicality. Rest assured, I will be at ODB’s birthday/tribute tonight. Apparently, RZA, Gza and roughly half the Wu will be in attendance. Also, there will be a birthday cake. I like birthday cake. Only fascists, pinkos and low-level insurance salesmen do not like birthday cake. The event is at the 740 Club on 8th and Broadway in Downtown. It promises to be a potentially very very entertaining affair. You should come if you’re into that sort of thing. If not, expect a report sometime next week. Hopefully, the RZA will bring out the Gravediggaz and they can all conduct a seance.

Download:
MP3: Ol’ Dirty Bastard-”Snakes”

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Cohen’s Critics Corner: Sally Shapiro-Disco Romance

Ian Cohen used to blog here. He usually writes here. Periodically, he drops knowledge on us here at the Passion of the Weiss. Neither he nor I are related to Sally Shapiro. We think.

Sally Shapiro’s name might fool you into thinking that this is a singer-songwriter album from Cherry Hill’s most renowned ear, nose and throat. In actuality, it’s an italo disco record and for all I know, it might be the italo disco “Discovery” or “Music Has The Right To Children.“ In other words, the “it’s ok to like this” representative of its techno subgenre.

Problem is, I’ll never be able to figure it out because being loaded off cocaine isn’t just the key to enjoying “Disco Romance”- it’s pretty much the admission ticket. And really, I can’t think of too many other places it’d be appropriate to listen to this thing outside of a club, but I can’t imagine too many clubs that would play this. Let’s be real, this is just more “I’m the producer’s girlfriend” vocalizing and beats that would probably be state of the art in 1977. A lot of people seem to be riding for the cause of “Disco Romance,” none of whom strike me as the “all night coke orgy this Tuesday type. But if you’re a hipster with a bunch of graphics you need to design, why not…Fuck yeah!” this is your record.

Until I become that person , this is my front-runner for the inaugural “Drum’s Not Dead” Award for “critically acclaimed album you will never play in front of other people.” Seriously…next time you’re driving to pick up one of your friends, play “Disco Romance.” Does that person, a) get out immediately or b) stay in for the sole purpose of laughing at your sorry ass for trying in vain to like this? If the answer is “no” for both, this is not the kind of person you want as a friend.

Download:
MP3: Sally Shapiro-”I’ll Be By Your Side”
MP3: Sally Shapiro-”Find My Soul”

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The Superbowl (Bah, Humbug)

Wow, that was some rainy, miserable, football. I’d rather have watched Dwight Schrute give a power-point presentation on the merits of Dunder-Mifflin paper, than have to sit through that thing again. Hell, I’d rather watch an episode of CBS flagship 2 and 1/2 men than spend 2 and a half hours wondering how much the Bears’ quarterback got mocked for having the last name, “Gross-man” at 9 years old.

Basically, if you weren’t from Indianapolis or Chicago, (okay, maybe just Indianapolis) this was one of the most dull and listless spectacles in recent memory. Yeah, yeah, it proved that Peyton Manning can finally win a Super Bowl. He also has the personality of a bowl of grape nuts, dull, flavorless but surprisingly efficient. Not exactly the stuff of Joe Namath or even Bret Farv….ruh. Y’know you’re suffering when one of the key media backstories of the game is how quiet Marvin Harrison is. Fantastic, news segments devoted to the fact that the star wide receiver is a mute.

I guess Prince doing the Super Bowl was okay. Although, next time maybe someone could pass NFL headquarters the memo that this isn’t the year 1985. Prince isn’t edgy. My grandmother likes Prince (and Benny Goodman). The most interesting side story behind the game was the fact that the Bears’ coach is named Lovie Smith. What the fuck is he, a care bear? A character on Gilligan’s Island? If I were named Lovie Smith, I would change my name to Nails. Something tough. Mean. Maybe if the Bears were coached by a man named Nails Smith they would’ve won (or at least limited Gross-man to like, 14 turnovers).

He Even Looks Like a Nails Smith

Don’t even get me started on the commercials. Maybe I’m not 12 years old anymore but I could’ve sworn that the commercials used to be funny. Now they’re just weird for the sake of being weird. Like that Snickers commercial where the two mechanics were making out? What the fuck was that and why am I supposed to find that funny? Like two grease monkeys swapping spit will make me yearn for a delicious peanut and caramel treat. (Unless of course, it was a commentary on Karl Rove’s deepest darkest fears behind legalizing gay marriage, in which case, it’s genius.)

Congratulations to the city of Indianapolis. If I were in Indianapolis I’m sure I’d be pretty stoked right about now. I suppose they’ve suffered long enough in Super Bowl purgatory (inevitably, God’s punishment for having produced Dan Quayle). But it does mark a new low in NFL history, that the quarterback of a Super Bowl winning team is named after a soap opera-novel about the lives of three lonely and repressed women.

Oh well. Another year, another Super Bowl. This one, stunningly more unspectacular than the last. And as much as I rue the appallingly bad alchemy of football, advertising and bland broadcasting, the irony is, of course, that I’ll tune in again next year, like everybody else. Why? Because I’m a sucker for any holiday that involves beer, chips, pizza and guacamole. Even if Dwight Schrute probably can play quarterback better than Gross….man.

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The Royal Rumble Part 2

Continuing my epic Stylus series of Cinematic Comparisons that no one asked for, my essay contrasting Revenge of the Nerds and National Lampoon’s Animal House is now up for your reading pleasure. Please peruse it and make me feel whole.

Waste time here.

Needless to say, the decision was tough to make, but I’m proud of the way the column turned out, if nothing else because any article that has the categories of best party, best gratuitous use of nudity and best use of marijuana is something I can stand behind. And if you missed it the first time, here’s my first Vs. column, where I compare Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Back to the Future.

Bluto Blutarsky Commands You to Check Out These Other Links

I Am Fuel You Are Friends has some MP3’s of new Brit export, Amy Winehouse whose album Back in Black is much much better than I ever would’ve expected. As Ian Cohen so eloquently put it, “I usually don’t fuck with white girl R&B, but a good way to counter that is to: a) be a raging alcoholic and b) like Ghostface.”

Alex Blagg, who was formerly one of the Net’s finest bloggers before high-tailing it to the more lucrative pastures of Best Week Ever, has compiled The Best of his Best Year Ever. As you might expect, they are all very very funny.

Captain Handsome of Captain Bobsled, Handsome Commando moves to LA and enlightens us on the weirdness that is LA if you’re a recent transplant.

Speaking of the weirdness of LA, Franklin Ave. tells you everything you’d ever need to know with his discovery of local Chuck E. Cheese’s that have VALET PARKING!

Nerd Litter has MP3’s and a very nicely written review of Passion of the Weiss approved Philly rappers Clean Guns.

Oh Word has the “5 Songs to Smoke To That Your Weeded Ass Forgot”

Skeet on Mischa’s Best Films of 06/ The Thighs Wide Shut Version

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Enuff Z-Nuff

Okay, as I said yesterday, enough’s enough, not like the no-talent metal hair band from the 80’s, but enough’s enough meaning no more new lists. However, as for today, I’m going to try to fight off a terrible cold picked up in San Francisco where I saw My Morning Jacket twice at the Fillmore. More on this tomorrow, but let me just say right now if you haven’t seen MMJ live, I highly highly encourage you to do so. Here are their tour dates. You will not be disappointed. In the meantime, if you’re into that sort of thing, feel free to go back to any of the 8 trillion End of Year lists, I’ve written over the past month. The MP3 links are still active, so download till your heart’s content. Until tomorrow. Tallyho.

*10 Best Debut LP

*10 Most Slept-On Albums

*The 7 Albums That Nearly Aren’t As Bad as You’ve Heard

*A Dozen Poorly Written Haiku’s About 2006’s Most Overrated Albums

*10 Best Hip Hop Albums

*10 Most Disappointing Albums

*10 Best Live Performances

*25 Best Albums

*A Behind the Scenes Look at The Thought Process Behind the 5 Worst Albums

*25 Best Rock Songs

*25 Best Hip-Hop Songs

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Ketchup or Cat-Sup? A Question For the Ages

Who in their right mind would buy a product called Henry’s Grandma’s Homemade Sweet Catsup? That sounds like the most digusting thing I’ve ever heard. At any rate, I need a day off to catch up on everything and to let my brain cool off from all this self-indulgent list-making. If you haven’t checked out my earlier lists, please feel free to return to them, read them once more and tell me once and for all how shitty my haiku skills are. Seriously, if you people wanted to read real haikus I should hope that this would not be the place you’d go looking.

I’m clearly not the only blogger doing list-making this December, so if you’re bored in the office today, go over to some other sites and see what everyone else has to say:

* Largehearted Boy’s Favorite Albums of 2006 (also check out his comprehensive tally of End of the Year-lists)

* The Rawking Refuses to Stop’s Best Albums

*Aquarium Drunkard’s Best Albums

*Audio Deficit Disorder’s Top 20 Songs of ‘06 and Best Albums

*Yeti Don’t Dance’s Best Albums

*Nerd Litter’s Best Albums of the 2000s (feat. pieces from yours truly on Sunset Rubdown’s Shut Up I Am Dreaming, Aesop Rock’s Labor Days, and The White Stripes’ White Blood Cells.

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