July 13th, 2009
Hailing from Ottawa, Aaron Matthews boasts an intimate familiarity with the meaning of the phrase, “So Icy.” On a related note, Trey Kerby once made a snowman using nothing but a half-dozen cups of shaved ice and Bill Hanzlik’s mustache.
Download: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FTB8M6QE
Aaron M:
For a little context, I currently reside in Canada’s capital, Ottawa.
Ottawa winters are groin-grabbingly cold and they feel endless. This is balanced out by the surprisingly warm and pleasant summers. We appreciate sunshine all the more with the knowledge that we only have a few months of warm weather left to enjoy.
The first side of The Cory Matthews Mixtape is intended to accompany you on a lazy summer day, with each song perfectly suited for a specific scenario or moment in your day.
Note that these scenarios aren’t all supposed to take place within the tape’s 40 minute runtime. Keep this on loop on a hot day and good stuff will happen, trust.
First the alarm goes off. You flick it off, stretch, yawn, and get dressed. You throw on your brand new Gucci underwear and open the blinds. It’s beautiful outside, sunny without being balmy.
It’s either a) your day off, b) the weekend, or c) you don’t have a job.
Either way, the weather is nice and you have no immediate obligations. Let’s go!
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Posted in Trey Kerby, Aaron Matthews, Summer Jamz | 6 Comments »
June 30th, 2009
Trey Kerby’s fansite dedicated to the wardrobe of Ricky Rubio can be found at The Blowtorch. Ole!
“Dirty Diana” is the only Michael Jackson song that’s not about a rat that I’ve ever actively disliked. When Number Ones was released, it was the track that I’d skip. It only has three stars in my iTunes. I’ve never been able to put a finger on why, exactly, I don’t like this song. Maybe it’s that it’s pretty gimmicky, in a “let’s put some rock guitars on this pop song” way. Maybe it’s the tired subject matter. Maybe it’s the tacked on audience applause, included only to drive home that this song is about groupies. Maybe it’s the absolutely insane choice to have his sister play the groupie in the video. For whatever reason, to these cynical ears, this is the “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” of Michael Jackson song.
But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve graded “Dirty Diana” on an unfair curve. A three star Michael Jackson song is five stars for anyone else. And Latoya Jackson playing a groupie isn’t just a slightly insane and incestuous decision, but a prophetic and anticipatory reaction to the video for “You’re Gonna Get Rocked.”
Posted in Michael Jackson Tribute, Trey Kerby | 5 Comments »
June 4th, 2009
Done in collaboration with Trey Kerby, the world’s most esteemed Brad Miller impersonator, this guide to the NBA finals should be used exclusively for gambling purposes. The information in question was given to us by an old man in a DeLorean. He brandished an obscure sports almanac, and spoke in dactylic hexameter about his hatred for Calvin Klein, manure, and light beer.
Rafer Alston Vs. Derek Fisher
Rafer Alston (Kerby): Alston was once on the cover of SLAM magazine, making him the worst player to grace their cover. Impressive considering Chamique Holdsclaw and Todd MacCullough have also appeared in that same spot. However, it is notable that Rafer Alston slaps kufis.
Weiss: In anticipation of Fisher’s lacksidasical defense, Alston plans to substitute former And 1 teammate, The Professor, just to see if he can score in an NBA game.
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Posted in NBA, Trey Kerby | 9 Comments »
