In a shocking reversal of fortune, Iraq, a nation recently teetering on the brink of Civil War has finally stabilized, as Iraqi insurgents of all stripes have laid down their arms, agreeing to love one another, regardless of religious sect or philosophical difference. In a magnanimous gesture, the United States will pull out its troops… Continue reading »
It is a sad day for America. The flag sits at half mast while a nation riven by ethnic, religious and political tension unites to cope with the shocking loss of Anna Nicole Smith, its preeminent former stripper turned Playboy Playmate turned obese reality television star. Indeed, our nation’s mourning has manifested itself in various… Continue reading »
In what is believed to be the first fatality ever attributed due to anxiety for an album leak, blogger Eugene Wilhelm of Seattle, Washington has passed away at the tender age of 24 years old. While medical professionals attribute Wilhelm’s death to several blocked arteries that stemmed the flow of blood to his heart, those… Continue reading »
Nicole Richie: Oh my god, Lindsay, I just saw Bobby and it was like the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Lindsay Lohan: Bobby? Is that new club on La Cienega? I love that place. It’s so hot right now. NR: No, it’s a movie about Bobby Kennedy. You were in it. LL: I was?… Continue reading »
Over the past month, the nation has been riveted by the Mark Foley scandal, in which the former Republican congressman got himself in trouble for allegedly attempting to seduce young Congressional pages via IM. Most recently, two days ago The Washington Post reported that Foley made friends with a wide circle of teenaged House of… Continue reading »
After watching the Al Gore global warming documentary An Inconvenient Truth two weeks ago, Altadena resident, Nick Chesterfield has become convinced of his expertise on the topic of global warming. “There’s not really all that much that you need to know. You can just watch that Al Gore fellow talk for a little bit and… Continue reading »
After nearly a week in heaven, former Al-Queda in Iraq leader, Abu Musab Zarqawi is irate with the sexual performance, or lack thereof, of the 72 virgins he received upon his arrival in Heaven, Wednesday morning. “I guess I didn’t think it out as well as I probably should have,” Zarqawi said in a rare… Continue reading »
In the aftermath of the media uproar surrounding the birth of miracle baby Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, the Jewish people have officially announced the end of the search for a messiah. Accordingly, throngs of Jews have flocked to Jerusalem to await the end of the days and the emergence of Jolie-Pitt to start separating out the… Continue reading »
Local doctors have announced that they have diagnosed the first-ever-recorded case of a man becoming clinically depressed for a social networking website. The man in question, 24-year old Woodland Hills resident, Michael Hale, recently checked into the psychiatric unit of Holy Cross Hospital, due to massive symptoms of depression and potential suicidal tendencies. “At first,… Continue reading »
Saudi Arabia has gotten a bad rap in the American Press. At least according to Saudi Arabia. But if a new Saudi-sponsored marketing campaign will have anything to do with it, Americans will learn the truth behind Saudi Arabia’s strict Wahabi interpretation of Islam and its restrictions on women. “It really is a tragedy that… Continue reading »
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Jeff Weiss
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Jeff Weiss
Sach O
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