January 2nd, 2008
Judging by most child stars, I’m willing to bet that if they re-made this commercial today, it’s tagline would be: “Zack, Zack, he’s a methamphetamine maniac.”
5. Dungen-Tio Bitar [Kemado]
Dungen did not tour this record in America. This is because the band’s mastermind, Gustav Estjes was rumored to be alone in the snowy Swedish hinterlands, ingesting enough hallucinogens to give Hunter S. Thompson pause, and trying to untangle the beautiful mess of sounds stampeding inside his head. On the band’s website, Estjes readily admits that his entire sonic leitmotif descends from the memory of being eight years old, hearing his mother’s copy of Are You Experienced? for the first time.
But Jimi Hendrix is merely the jumping off point for Estjes’ lysergic symphonies; aided by Swede postman by day/guitar god by night Reine Fiske, Dungen spit back an impossibly melodic synthesis of the ’60s and early ’70s, seamlessly blending orange sunshine-laced Hendrix solos, snaking Revolver sitars, and some weird willowy flutes a la Aqualung. This is dusty analog music, buzzing with a drugged red-eyed glow, all spray-paint and candy color. It’s not the sort of artistic statement that promises to change anyone’s life (unless you’re this fellow), but Tio Bitar is a great work of escapist art, the sort of essential record I’d pick for any hypothetical list of desert island necessities.
MP3: Dungen-”Gor Det Nu”
4. Ghostface Killah-The Big Dough Rehab [Def Jam]
The people who bitched about The Big Dough Rehab’s lack of originality are the types who would’ve complained that Rembrandt painted too many pictures of Dutchmen with bushy mustaches and black felt hats. They’re missing the point: like the famed 17th century portraitist, Ghost’s brilliance lies in his innate ability to humanize even the most stiff figures and breath life into the most tired of tropes. “Yolanda’s House” (explained at length here) should be merely another Wu heist, instead it thumps off the speakers with a novelist’s eye for detail, from Ghost’s meal of french fries and fish sticks, to Meth reprimanding Starks for laughing at his asthmatic girlfriend, to Raekwon’s description of a drug connect as wearing a lot of “loud shit, you know that Steve Rifkind-style shit.”
Superficially, this just another casually brilliant Ghostface album, but underneath its veneer a greater linearity and thematic consistency emerges (save for “White Linen Affair,” which is plain retarded). If heads were chagrined that The Big Dough Rehab lacked “weird” songs about seeing Sponge Bob underwater, their absence came in exchange for a focus on deeper themes: mortality, a desire to repent, the proverbial Devil on Ghost’s shoulder that that believes that life should be “Bentley’s and big bills, bottles, biscuits, bitches, blunts, [and] bad boys bodying pit bulls” (as declared on “Paisley Darts.”) Cinematically arranged, even seemingly head-scratching decisions like “The Prayer” have a warped logic to them, with Ox’s supplications serving as a second act turning point of sorts, with Ghost navigating treacherous femme fatales and mob shootouts in the third act, before ultimately recognizing life’s fragility and the need to “slow down” on the finale. Of course, it isn’t as consistently thrilling as Supreme Clientele, but it’s still a lot more fun than this guy.
MP3: Ghostface Killah ft. Method Man & Raekwon-”Yolanda’s House”
3. LCD Soundsystem-Sound of Silver [Capitol/DFA]
If you’re desperate, the de rigueur cricism of Sound of Silver is that there’s little else to it besides “Someone Great” and “All My Friends,” and that the latter is the kind of “Stairway To Heaven”/ “Smells Like Teen Spirit” for aging indie types to eventually beat their kids over the head with. But really- do you really want to hang out with people who can’t find anything here? “North American Scum” isn’t Ted Leo with a better sense of humor? The title track doesn’t knock? I realize it’s all hipster catnip, but you know what- sometimes “the blogs” are right.
I refuse to believe this won’t be a record that matters when all’s said and done. Because this seems to be the dovetailing of solutions to complaints about indie rock in general: dance music doesn’t have any emotional resonance and the power trio is too fucking boring. And while 2007 was certainly quite the banner year for club music to go rock, let’s face it: Simian Mobile Disco isn’t sucking any less any time soon. This might have been a record you degraded on your year-end just to be original, but see if it isn’t the one that you bring out in 2017 most often. –Ian Cohen
MP3: LCD Soundsystem-”North American Scum” (Left-Click)
2. Sunset Rubdown-Random Spirit Lover [Jagjaguwar]
Random Spirit Lover is a dense epic sprawl of a record. If you listen to it enough, I’m reasonably sure you’ll start to go a little crazy. For a long time, it seemed to only make sense, drunk, rambling, stoned in the ashy delirium of 3:00 a.m revelation. With a frozen winter nightmare vibe that hits at some raw intestinal level, the sort of thing that sounded fit for a long car ride to the funeral of a close friend, rain clouds cackling overhead, setting the sad soundtrack to the inherent smallness and fragility of life. In the reel that flickers inside my head, it plays like The Chronicles of Narnia re-written entirely from memory by Guillermo Del Toro, with a soundtrack composed by a super-group of David Bowie, Frog Eyes, and the ghost of Elliot Smith. It would do horrible at the box office.
Random Spirit Lover requires a willful suspension of disbelief. Each song in and of itself is a weird tesseract to warp through, passing into a vivid cosmology of courtesans, failed heroes, snakes, stallions, leopards, and various other animals that added together would probably account for 22 percent of the San Diego Zoo. You have to ignore this record’s excesses and pretensions, it’s herky-jerky pacing and its song titles including “Up on Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days” and “Trumpet, Trumpet, Toot! Toot!” (the latter of which has a reasonable shot at being the title of the next big Southern ring-tone rap song). Spencer Krug is the rare songwriter capable of writing songs that can mean 1,000 things to a 1,000 people, an opacity that lends itself to a sort of timelessness that allows you to believe that if you play this in 50 years it’ll retain the mystery and magic it possesses today.
MP3: Sunset Rubdown-”Up On Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days”
1. El-P- I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead [Def Jux]
I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead, is El-P’s masterpiece, a record both explicit and subtle, simultaneously political and apolitical, a record for a turbulent schizophrenic year where gruesome headlines from Iraq sat side-by-side with news of the Dow skyrocketing and Anna Nicole Smith corpse-raping. Heavily rooted in his NYC cityscape, El dipped jittery, a “Brooklyn baby / Waterlocked, walkin’ nervous” with a “gonzomatic fear turning [him] Hunter S. Thompson.”
Like many Def Jux records, I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead is monolithic and impenetrable on first listen. But with patience and time, its lyrical complexities and Bomb Squad by way of My Bloody Valentine sound grows increasingly more vivid. Listen to “Poisenville Kids No Wins,” and try to ignore El-P’s sound-of-a-mind-bleeding beat, a thundering seven-minute soulfuck full of Star Wars synths, Orwellian alarms, and drums big as boulders. Try to ignore lyrics that paint a hazy drugged dispatch from that valley between dawn and night, the story of a lonely train car home, vomited out onto blocks of Brooklyn brownstones and bodegas, nasal drip tearing its way down our narrator’s throat. Slanting against a sleeping storefront, he pauses for one last cigarette, letting the wispy Newport drags dissolve into the weak maroon sun, contemplating that fragile membrane that links light and darkness, sanity and madness, the desire to fight versus the wisdom to flee. Not only is I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead, the best hip-hop album made this year, it’s one of the best ever made.
MP3: El-P-”Poisenville Kids No Wins/Reprise (This Must Be Our Time)”
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December 13th, 2007
Animal Collective-Strawberry Jam
Sounds Like Bad Acid Trip
At arcade in New Jersey
Let Panda roam solo.
Arcade Fire-Neon Bible
Right now in heaven
Toole Composes Lengthy Indictment
Against Neon Bible.
Arctic Monkeys-Favourite Worst Nightmare
Least favourite nightmare
Listening to this on repeat
For Infinity.
Battles-Mirrored
Battles are Jam Band
For Smart Kids, Pass the Atlas
To the left hand side.
Blitzen Trapper-Wild Mountain Nation
Dead and Pavement Mix
Worse than tie dye and flannel.
Pick one. Weed or whine?
Bloc Party-A Weekend in the City
The Weekend Goes Bad
Cocaine Is Had Kele Gets Sad
Repeat thirteen times
Dan Deacon-Spiderman of the Rings
“My Generation”
As written by a neon elf
People try to put us down?
Lil Wayne-Da Drought 3
Stop the mad lib rhymes
Release Carter III already
Quit with the syrup.
M.I.A.-Kala
Rip off New Order
Combat Rock and Bollywood
Too much for hipsters.
Patrick Wolf-The Magic Position
Dandy carousel
But the magic position
is the off switch.
If you aren’t a fan of film title quizzes and you’d be more interested in finding a quiz that is more about the music you’d find in movies or other places then going online to find such a quiz isn’t a bad idea. You could even find some art quizzes if you’re not too into music or movies.
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December 12th, 2007
Even if you are a jewel thief, it is never wise to mess with a man whose name is Sgt. Larvell Jones.
5. Jay-Z ft. Nas-”Success”
These two. Thing is, this song shouldn’t be this high on my Best Of list. Say these guys hadn’t spent a decade trying to fuck each other’s baby mama’s, Sean Carter and Nasir Jones probably would’ve recorded at least a half-dozen songs better than “Success.” But at least they finally managed to get it right. Granted, neither Jay nor Nas turns in their best performance, but just hearing two of the best rappers of their generation go at it on the same track is something special in its own right–particularly when backed by seraphic church organs angling towards the sky and slow regal drums. It doesn’t matter that Jay-Z’s does a lazy flip of an old Eminem verse. It doesn’t matter that Nas tells people for the 34th time that he has the blood of a king (Hopefully, this one). It’s still a success.
MP3: Jay-Z ft. Nas-”Success”
4. Ghostface Killah ft. Method Man and Raekwon-”Yolanda’s House”
It’s probably cliche by now to point out how much of Ghost’s brilliance stems from his attention to detail. In theory, “Yolanda’s House” has no right to be this great. Starks has written dozens of heist stories over the years, but somehow he’s able to make each one unique, letting it breathe in its own distinct world of blood, smoke and banana nutraments.
On “Yolanda’s House,” Ironman’s on the run from the cops again. His watch is cracked, his Nikes are scuffed, his body is scratched from fleeing through bushes and backyards . He’s tired, out of breath, stoned. The sirens wail behind him. His heart bulges out of his chest, paranoid thoughts dart through his dazed mind. He thinks about quitting slanging, but knows he can’t. He needs the money. Out of options, he yells to God to strike him if he doesn’t like him. But of course, God likes him. It’s Ghostface after all. He’s the honest man living outside the law.
Miraculously, he ducks into a safe house, explains his situation, and convinces a sympathetic woman to cook him fries, fish sticks and biscuits, all while still applying her lipstick. Satiated, belly fat, he slices open a blunt and stuffs it full of weed. They smoke. One thing leads to another, Ghost is about get some “head wop” and more, when suddenly, the hiss and static of walkie talkies bleeds through the thin project walls. The cops are rumbling up the stairwell. Frantically, Ghost ducks into the next room, hiding behind a wall, spying Method Man, about to fuck the fish-stick cooker’s sister. Raw. And all this happens in just one minute.
MP3: Ghostface ft. Method Man & Raekwon-”Yolanda’s House”
3. UGK ft. Outkast-”Int’l Players Anthem”
This video has everything. Jokes about Rowdy Roddy Piper. Appearances from Bishop Magic Don Juan in a lime green hat. A wedding reception that looks even more fun than the Gimme-A-Keg-Of-Beer party in Teen Wolf. And of course, a great song behind it. But more than just being a pimped-out wedding fantasia, “Int’l Players Anthem” manages to capture the different sides of the male psyche. At one end, Andre plays the hopeless romantic, walking down the alter in a kilt, convinced that his bliss won’t be ephemeral. At the other extreme, an ice-draped Bun B and Pimp call other guys fairies and brag about driving Bentleys and wearing Russian Sable. The concept of settling down with one woman is unthinkable.
Big Boi plays the centrist, the pragmatic voice of reason. He’s not necessarily opposed to marriage, he’s just picky and wants to make sure he isn’t being played. Andre would call him jaded. Big Boi laughs and tells Andre to ask Paul McCartney about true love. Usually, posse cuts are just exercises for rappers to spit their most ferocious battle raps, but on this one, UGK and Outkast take it the next level, creating an an instant classic, complete in both its concept and execution.
MP3: UGK ft. Outkast-”Int’l Players Anthem”
2. El-P-”Poisenville Kids No Wins/Reprise (This Must Be Our Time)
In Poisenville, the kids walk on floors made of broken glass and sawdust. They wear silver-colored rags and eat tomatoes the size of human heads. The sun never shines and they only serve cold brackish coffee. In school, the machines drone on with all the right answers and when they return home the children watch only reality shows and ultra-violent cartoons. Garbage lines the streets. Bombs explode on the front pages of poorly reported newspapers. The entire congress consists of aging actors, and bad ones at that. It’s the last chapter in El-P’s tar-black dystopia, the world’s gone awry and all anyone can do is laugh.
MP3: El-P -”Poisenville Kids No Wins/Reprise (This Must Be Our Time)
1. Outkast-”Da Art of Storytellin’ Pt. 4″
“Da’ Art of Storytellin’” is a challenge to all-comers, a dare to the rap world to see if anyone stronger has emerged since Andre got bored with hip-hop sometime around the millennium. It’s that all-too-rare, adrenaline-racing, boombox monstrosity that whip-saws you to attention and makes you remember why you loved hip-hop so much in the first place. In an ideal rap world, this song would get at the very least as much burn on car stereos as “Soulja Girl” (notice, Andre’s bumping 100 Miles And Running). The sort of thing you’d hope would shift some teenage rapper’s paradigm from the obscene commercialism of the newest school, to the line of storytellers descended from Slick Rick and Kool G Rap, This should be required rewind listening for all aspiring rappers. Fuck being a motivational speaker, an actor, or a “brand,” rappers should want to tell stories, not be them.
MP3: Outkast-”Da Art of Storytelling Pt. 4″
While this list might not contain any kids songs you can rest assured that plenty of kids music, along with arts and crafts, can be found easily on the Internet. Besides the variety of arts and crafts projects you might be able to find, designed for any kind of art you might be interested in, there are plenty of other kids activities to be discovered.
Posted in Lists, Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought?, Best Of | 12 Comments »
December 11th, 2007
The film that ended the Cold War.
9. Hi-Tek Ft. Talib Kweli & Dion-”Time”
“People get caught up in a time and what that song represents to them at the time they hear it. Nothing I’m gonna do after that is going to match up to that time period, because they can’t get that back. So I have to realize that when I make music, that time is never gonna be back to them-Talib Kweli
In 2001, I saw Talib Kweli five times and each performance he seemed to grow closer and closer to greatness. There was a fierce hunger in his eyes then, he was young and eager, rapping in breathless machine-gun bursts as though he was trying to break out of the underground one syllable at a time. Kweli had a restless quality, moving with intensity and focus, like if he stopped paying attention for a single moment, one of his thoughts would escape and never return.
But then something happened. Quality came out and it was solid but uninspiring. A step back not forward. Time lunged on. By the time Beautiful Struggle came out, listening to it felt like how I imagine hipsters will feel in five years when they have the did-I-used-to-wear-that realization that they spent two wears in the late 00’s rocking mustaches and stove-pipe hats. Every track came with a corny, and massive R&B hook, not to mention the uneasy similarity Beautiful Struggle single “I Try” had with Quality single, “Get By.” Kweli was played out like keg stands and gravity bong rips, things things that I used to fuck with regularly in the past, but never planned to include in my post-collegiate life.
Then I heard, “Time,” easily the best track off of Hi-Tek’s recently released Hi-Teknology 3 album. Instantly, I fell back a half-dozen years, the requisite flood of memories: old mix tapes made, stoned nocturnal car rides through the lazy hills of northeast LA, Reflection Eternal as the soundtrack at some drunken party spilling into a sad gray dawn. Hi-Tek’s beat is godlike, a celestial burst of stoned soul with Kweli’s raps melding perfectly to it. These two need each other, like Pete Rock and CL Smooth or Premier and Guru. Apparently, they’re going to do another Reflection Eternal album. That’s good news. In the meantime, sure Kweli still may never mean as much to me as he did six years ago, but you know what, I’m okay with liking him again. It’s time.
MP3: Hi-Tek ft. Talib Kweli & Dion-”Time”
8. Bishop Lamont ft. Phat Kat and Elzhi-”Goat It”
As discussed last week.
MP3: Bishop Lamont ft. Phat and Elzhi of Slum Village-”Goatit”
7. Devin the Dude ft. Snoop Dogg, Andre 3000-”What a Job”
Yup, it would really suck to get to be a professional rapper. Take Snoop. I mean that quarter pound of weed isn’t going to smoke itself all day every day Or Andre 30,000,000, (as in sold), who is pretty much worshiped as a God on at least six continents and yet still, he’s kept up nights with worries about file-sharing (maybe he hangs out with Lars Ulrich?). Or Devin the Dude, who must be doing fine because his nickname is the Dude. He abides. (But seriously Dude, if you’re worried that your baby mama is thinking you’re “on some other shit,” might I recommend not writing a song about how girls should sleep with you because your dick goes well with broccoli & cheese.) The thing is, this is my 7th favorite rap song of the 2007. This is the job these guys were meant to be doing.
MP3: Devin the Dude ft. Andre 3000 and Snoop Dogg-”What a Job”
6. Aesop Rock-”No City”
It’s always sort of irritated me that people who consider themselves “hip-hop heads” invariably don’t like Aesop Rock. I understand why. He’s white. He uses a lot of big words. He rocks Che hats. I get it. But still, his career doesn’t get nearly as much respect as it should. Though I imagine if Aesop rapped over beats like this more often, the question would be moot. 8 Diagrams is good and all, but on “No City” Blockhead makes the kind of beat you hoped the RZA would be making in ‘07, a voodoo cauldron of dive-bombing violins, levitating guitar lines, and New Orleans jazz pianos. Aesop kills it, letting off an surrealist jag of images of 6 billion gorillas for whom the graves yawn, waiting gates to Hades, and yachts and mansions dropping from canyons.
MP3: Aesop Rock-”No City”
Posted in Lists, Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought?, Best Of | 5 Comments »
December 7th, 2007
Mental Note: Avoid guys with the nickname “Mad Dog.”
14. Redman-”Blow Treez”
Why did we have to wait until 2007 for Redman, the man who taught a generation of impressionable youths how to roll a blunt, to sample Bob Marley, the greatest blunt roller of them all? Flipping the halcyon palm-tree sway of “Sun is Shining” from 1978’s Kaya, Reggie Noble enlists Method Man and whoever the fuck Ready Roc is to create the stoner anthem of the year. It’s a bit reductive to tell you to bump this from a booming system stoned on an impossibly sunny spring day, but hey, sometimes that’s just the way things were intended.
Download:
MP3: Redman ft. Method Man and Ready Roc-”Blow Treez”
Bonus:
MP3: Bob Marley: “Sun is Shining”
13. Kanye West-”Everything I Am”
Let’s talk, Common. I can live with the Gap ads. I can even handle the weirdness of the B.F.F. relationship with Ari Gold, but something’s gone terribly awry when you pass up a beat like this It’s simple but soulful, twinkling piano keys, somber Southern Baptist wails, and soft trembling drums. Stir some Premier scratches directly into its heart and you get arguably the best beat on Graduation. Kanye does it justice too, rattling off a litany of his flaws, spazzing out at Awards shows, not being as black as one of the dudes in Blackstreet (?). It reads a little calculating but plays as one of the few humanizing touches that manage to make Graduation endearing in spite of its arena-sized ego.
MP3: Kanye West-”Everything I Am”
12. Marco Polo ft. Masta Ace-”Nostalgia”
Video of the year. Not for any sort of technical complexity or originality, but for its ruthless ability to achieve its goals. With his Premier/Pete Rock homage, Polo’s beat sounds like it was made while drinking a Yoohoo and smoking a Philly at D&D. If you listen hard enough, there’s even a snippet of “Mass Appeal.” The video sketches out the idea in faded colors, a throwback to the Yo MTV Raps! days of grainy low-budget video after low-budget video, full of hooded scowls, dim Brooklyn afternoons and Bodega runs. The song’s called “Nostalgia.” It succeeds.
11. Prodigy-”Stuck on You”
I’m sure that the “Return of the Mac” will wind up pretty high on a lot of Year End Lists, but it just had too many dud tracks for me. Prodigy sounds prematurely old these days, huffing and puffing to catch up to the beat, fumbling with new ways of saying the same old things. And let’s never speak of “Blood Money” again. Yet with “Stuck On You,” Alchemist slows things down, tossing heavy sedated drums over a sample of “I’m Hooked on You.” Rapping like a clumsy, ursine, past his-prime George Foreman, Prodigy throws a haymaker and connects soundly.
MP3: Prodigy-”Stuck On You”
10. Klashnekoff-”The Revolution Will Not Be Televised On Channel U”
You’re probably wondering who Klashenekoff is. This is because you’re probably American and Americans don’t like British rap. Unless of course, its done by Dizzee Rascal, and then that’s really just Americans attempting to like British rap because it seems strangely exotic even though it’s not very good. But you’ll probably like Klashnekoff. He released one great album, The Sagas of Klashnekoff, and waited three years to finally release a record called Lionheart: Tussle With the Beast. Needless to say, tussling with beasts wasn’t about to get any American distribution. Nor were songs about “Channel U.” I didn’t even know what “Channel U” was until Dom Passantino’s reviewed the record for Stylus. It kind of doesn’t matter. The song sounds like early Mobb Deep, stabbing strings, warehouse-big drums and rhymes simultaneously hard-core and darkly poetic. Download it, go to his Myspace, try remember this guy’s name (Admittedly, not an easy task.)
MP3: Klashnekoff- “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised On Channel U”
If the kind of songs you’re looking for are kids songs then this site might not be right for you. Thankfully you can find songs and more, like arts and crafts projects, all over the Internet. If your child is interested in art and you’re looking for supplies like some coloring pages, then searching online for kids crafts may be the way to go.
Posted in Lists, Best Of | 15 Comments »
December 5th, 2007
This list has very little to do with Back to the Future II. However, I am writing it from the inside of a Delorean.
19. Pete Rock ft. Styles P & Sheek Louch-”914″
Released by Nature Sounds in January as the single from Pete Rock’ s still shelved New York’s Finest record, “914″ has inevitably become a hit among rich kids in Westchester County, stoked that Yonkers and Scarsdale share an area code. Despite capable verses from Styles P and Sheek Louch (or as they’re commonly known in Black Hebrew Circles: A Side of Lox), Rock owns the track without saying a word, with a beat full of filthy drums, muffled horns, and the grimy New York subway rattle that he made his name on.
Download:
MP3: Pete Rock ft. Styles P and Sheek Louch-”914″
18. Rich Boy-”Throw Some D’s Out On It Remix”
How about we just start by listing the bad things about this song. First, of all it has Rich Boy on it. And I know people are really into the whole, “let’s pretend that Rich Boy isn’t completely garbage” thing, but I’m not hearing it. He’s pretty awful. I even listened to his eponymous NAMBLA-enticing debut twice and both times Rich Boy’s entreaties to be a “Hustla Boy Gangsta Mack” barely lured me in. Barely. Also, the “Throw Some D’s Remix” has a verse from Murphy Lee talking about how my girl has a picture of him on her wall. This is not true. I don’t date girls with pictures of St. Lunatics on my wall. In fact, I’m willing to bet that Murphy Lee’s sister doesn’t even have a picture of Murphy Lee on her wall. On the plus side, Andre 3000 kicks off his string of awesome ‘07 guest appearances, The Game rambles about Cadillacs and Jim Jones ad-libs the word, “Innocent,” while talking about his “kosher lawyers.” And sadly, this never fails to amuse me.
MP3: Rich Boy (ft. Andre 3000, Jim Jones, Murphy Lee, The Game)-”Throw Some D’s On It Remix”
17. Lil Wayne-”Dipset”
Yes, I still think Lil Wayne is easily the most overrated rapper of our time and still believe that calling him the greatest rapper alive immediately discounts your opinion. However, overrated and bad aren’t necessarily synonymous. In fact, on occasion Wayne almost lives up to the hyperbole. Think of him as hip-hop’s Rob Deer. He strikes out way too much to be rightfully considered a superstar, but when he makes contact it goes a long way. [Insert Baby joke here]. Over the instrumental for “Reppin’ Time,” Wayne’s sneering stream of consciousness rant perfectly matches the beats swagger and bombast. Lyrically, it’s so knowingly absurd you can’t help but laugh. Although, I wouldn’t recommend using Wayne’s patented, “Bitch, I have a great idea…we should sex” theory, nor would I advocate only using “Cristal to pour over white bitches heads.” That’s just superfluous.
MP3: Lil Wayne-”Dipset”
16. Brother Ali-”Truth Is”
If Slug had written a single half this catchy, he’d probably have made some in-roads in the much-coveted Soulja Boy 13-year old white girl demographic. But Brother Ali has absolutely no commercial appeal. He’s a strident, fire-breathing, Albino from Minneapolis who looks like a cross between Powder and a B-boy from Wild Style. He’s also steadily improved since he broke in with Rhymesayers in 2002 to the point where he deservedly earned an opening slot supporting Ghost and Rakim on this year’s Hip Hop Live! tour. With its huge hook, Ali’s fierce preacher’s cadence and Ant’s umbrella-in-drink tropical funk, “Truth Is” is as effortless and catchy as indie rap gets.
MP3: Brother Ali-”Truth Is”
15. Percee P ft. Diamond D-”2 Brothers From The Gutter”
Had Madlib handed these brilliant blunted beats over to Doom, you’d already be long sick of hearing about Madvillain II’s excellence. Instead, that project exists only in a rap-nerd fantasy world (excelsior) and we get Perseverance, a surprisingly strong record in spite of Percee’s one-note lyrics about how great his lyrics are. There’s a good half dozen songs that really stand out, but this might be the best. Percee and Diamond D try to impose the gravity of their anachronistic flows against Madlib’s stoned MegaMan 2 beat, full of fuzzy cheap synths, bright Mario Brothers coin clicks and after-school Nintendo nostalgia. Instead it just soars away into its own universe.
Download:
MP3: Percee P ft. Diamond D.-”Two Brothers From the Gutter”
Posted in Lists, Best Of | 9 Comments »
December 5th, 2007
25. Chamillionaire ft. Slick Rick: “Hip Hop Police”
Chamillionaire’s a good rapper. His flow kind of reminds me of Krayzie Bone had he grown up chugging syrup through humid Houston summers. And unlike a lot of Southern rappers, Chamillionaire has interesting ideas, even if he doesn’t always know the best way to implement them. “Hip Hop Police” is one of those moments where he connects, with Paul Wall’s former better half in storytelling mode, venting about the hip-hop police playing the role of both suspect and cop. But Slick Rick owns the track, rocking his eye patch, with an effortless ‘88 swagger down to the fat gold ropes still clanging around his neck. It’s the sort of verse that reminds you how he got the nickname “the ruler.”
Download:
MP3: Chamillionaire ft. Slick Rick-”Hip Hop Police”
24. Consequence ft. Kanye West-”The Good, The Bad, The Ugly”
If you found Graduation a little too “Euro” for your tastes, you’d probably prefer this song off of Consequence’s debut album, Don’t Quit Your Day Job. Kanye chipmunk souls a dusty Smokey Robinson sample and steps away from the boards to show Consequence how he himself must’ve felt after “Diamonds of Sierra Leone.” You also have to like the fact that Kanye manages to spit a verse without a Luis Vuitton reference. Huzzah.
MP3: Consequence-”The Good, The Bad & The Ugly”
23. Clean Guns-”We Just Run Things” .
Zilla Rocca and Nico the Beast definitely had some very good songs on their debut, Sometimes There is Trouble, and on their Living in Harmony mixtape, but with “We Just Run Things” they deliver their first great song. On this cut, the first on their mixtape with World Domination Headquarters, they master songcraft, paring catchy hooks with complex lyricism, and a sharp, subtle sense of humor. It’s the difference between rappers who can put out a good album versus those who can have a career.
Download:
MP3: Clean Guns-”We Just Run Things”
Download the entire mixtape for free here (left-click)
22. Freeway-”Roc-A-Fella Billionaires”
I’ve made my thoughts on the Freeway album well-known, but however mediocre it is, I do really like a couple tracks. This is probably my favorite. Dame Grease supplies a beat full of shrill whistles and marching band horns that sounds right at home on Hard Knock Life Vol. 2, as does Jay, who pretty much lays Freeway to waste. Leaked way back in June, this was probably the first time that everyone should’ve realized that Jay-Z had decided to attempt being a good rapper again.
MP3: Freeway-”Roc-A-Fella Billionaires”
21. Little Brother-”Can’t Win For Losing”
Track 2 on Little Brother’s first 9th Wonder-less album, “Can’t Win For Losing” is a sort of state of the union for the group. But if it weren’t more than just that, it probably wouldn’t be very notable, considering only 14 people really cared that 9th Wonder left the group in the first place (eight of of which were probably in Phonte’s family). Tacitly answering the doubters, not only does Illmind provide a better beat than anything 9th ever gave them (”The Listening” excluded), but Phonte manages to intelligently articulate the difficulties and struggles inherent in being an independent-minded artist without sounding whiny. Which is much harder than it seems.
MP3: Little Brother-”Can’t Win For Losing”
20. Phat Kat-”Nasty Ain’t It”
As the well of posthumously released Dilla beats grows dry, this should be remembered as one of the last great ones. A metallic, dystopian slice of ice-cold futuristic-funk, “Nasty Ain’t It” leaves one wondering if Dilla was only really beginning to enter his prime. Meanwhile Phat Kat dashes Blade Runner-like past the screeching whistles and ringing alarms of the track, roaring with a spectacularly surly lung-scorched growl and a barely contained rage.
MP3: Phat Kat-”Nasty Ain’t It”
You aren’t going to find many kids songs on this list, but thankfully you can find music and arts on the Web for your children. One of the most simple arts and crafts supplies, that being a healthy supply of different coloring sheets to choose from, can be found on plenty of kids arts and crafts websites.
Posted in Lists, Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought?, Best Of | 12 Comments »
December 4th, 2007
After an intense scrutiny of the video for “Sensual Seduction” confirmed what a battery of MRI exams had already hinted at, neurologist Gerald Schwartz of The Mayo Clinic has decisively concluded that the rapper, Snoop Dogg, has smoked himself “retarded.”
“Retarded isn’t a term we even use anymore, but in this case it just seems to fit,” Schwartz said, furrowing his brow and waving his hands in air as though he actually does care. “Sometime around The Doggfather, Snoop’s chronic use of chronic began to take its toll. Subsequent forays in the world of pornography, youth football and whatever Doggy Fizzle Telefizzle was, are further evidence of his burn-out, “The unfortunate reality is that 98.3 percent of Snoop Dogg’s cerebral synapses are smothered in THC like birds dying on the beach after an oil spill.”
Schwartz displayed the results of the questionnaire that Mr. Dogg filled out upon being admitted to the Mayo clinic.
“Look at this!” Schwartz said, showing reporters a Mayo entrance questionnaire where Dogg had written his name: Calvin Broadizzle Deezle. “The subject is unable to properly spell his own name correctly, not to mention he’s exhibited classic schizophrenic behavior, by frequently requesting a voice box to sing into and asking the staff if they know whether or not he’s a freak. He also kept on repeating the word, “Bootsy over and over again.”
Let’s Just Cut to the Chase, There is Never a Bad Time To Post a Cover of a Zapp Album
Dogg’s former mentor, Dr. Dre declined to comment on his colleague’s medical condition, cl claiming to be too busy with his rigorous daily routine of snorting power shakes and bench-pressing baby elephants.
However, Dre’s half-brother, frequent Snoop collaborator, Warren G, opened up to reporters about his fallen friend.
“Snoop….man….Snoop likes his weed,” Warren G said, pausing, sighing and staring at the heavens. “I don’t know why people still give him so much attention. I mean, you people do you realize that he’s spit the same 16 bars in every verse since 1997? What about me? I’m Warren G. Don’t you guys remember “Regulate?” Or “This is the Shack” Those were awesome, right? ”
After initially turning down several interview requests, Snoop Dogg gathered reporters to his house out in the hills right next to Chino, to deny reports of Schwartz’s damning theories. Wearing nothing but a rhinestone studded lame jumpsuit and an electric guitar, the Long Beach bred rapper waggled his finger at the assembled media.
“You’ll reportizzle is off-fizzle…Snoop Dizzle is still number wizzle. Pizzle, bitches. Pizzle.”
Dogg then dismissed the crowd with a wave, an air pimp-slap and a villainous laugh. As for Schwartz, he contends that Dogg is slated to report back to the Mayo clinic in two weeks for some highly experimental brain therapy.
“We’re determined to try to recover as much of his brain matter as possible,” Schwartz said. We’re going to get him on a manageable five blunt a day diet with no more than two glasses a day of Gin and Juice. We’re also playing him an endless loop of The Chronic and Doggystyle and we’re also considering showing Snoop re-runs of The L Word, specifically his guest appearances as ‘Slim Daddy.”
Download:
MP3: Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg-”Nuthin’ But a G Thing”
MP3: Snoop Dogg-”Gin And Juice”
If you need more drug info for specific reasons, such as to find out if marijuana will have any sorts of drug side effects during pregnancy, then while you should consult a doctor about the drugs you are taking you can also use the Internet to find out a lot about drugs and their effects.
Posted in The Fakest News in Town, Best Of, It Got Weird, Didn't It? | 10 Comments »
November 27th, 2007
If home is where you hang your hat then Silverlake is rapidly turning into the world’s largest hat rack. Over the past 12 months, it has become de rigueur in hipster courting rituals for male hipsters (homo habilus hipstericus) to trot out increasingly ridiculous pieces of vintage head-ware in an effort to woo the female species of hipster (homo habilus hipstripesicus). A trend once confined to the deepest recesses of the Cha Cha Lounge has spread like wildfire, consuming most of Hollywood and threatening as far west as the Fairfax district. As a native Angeleno dedicated to the preservation of a sane, safe city, I have decided to compile a guide designed to help ameliorate this obvious hipster identity crisis. If you or anyone you know has this problem, please take them to the nearest Lids as rapidly as possible.
The Fedora:
Unless you’re a chain-smoking, hard-as-nails 1940s gumshoe who can say the phrase “private dick” with a straight face, you probably shouldn’t be wearing a fedora. I know half of you guys went to private school with people named Humphrey and/or Dashiell, but unless you’ve actually solved at least one mystery in your life then you are forbidden from fedora-ing. And, no figuring out to the plot to Mullholland Drive doesn’t count as a mystery. Of course, there is also the fact that Will I Am wears fedoras. And nothing Will I Am does can ever be cool. Nothing.
The Derby
If I wanted to see a walking, talking, ball of hair in a derby hat, I’d just go watch an episode of The Addams Family.
The Che
Fight the revolution! One $3.00 organic fair trade cup of coffee at a time.
The Newsboy Cap
Repeat after me: just because I know every word to every song in Newsies does not give me the right to wear a newsboy cap. Sorry to be the bearer of ill tidings, you don’t look like Dave Chappelle, you look more like the guy on the couch.
The Top Hat
Okay fine, so I’ve never actually seen anyone on the streets of Silverlake wearing a top hat. But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and have concluded that the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland very well might be the proto-hipster. Think about it. Garish color schemes, check. Shaggy unkempt mane, check. Penchant for spewing pretentious gibberish, check. Indie-rock style snug trousers, you betcha. And most importantly, the Mad Hatter had no real job and spent all day every day having tea parties with his friends. Give that man a laptop, stick him at the Intelligentsia Cafe, and he’d be in hog fucking heaven.
The Trilby Hat
Pros: You have a 0.01 percent chance of getting Kate Moss.
Cons: You have to tell people you’re wearing something called a trilby hat. Also, may bring back vivid childhood flashbacks of the Scatman.
The Beret
You know what would be the coolest thing ever? If an indie rock band started writing protest songs and had like eight people on-stage, two of whom were playing the violin and one of one of which was playing the glockenschpiel. And they could be influenced by Modest Mouse and The Talking Heads and Joy Division, with a touch of the Arcade Fire and they could all dress up in military fatigues and they could call themselves The Green Berets. It all starts with the beret. It all starts with the beret.
The Trucker Hat
Sorry brah, last time I checked this wasn’t 1999. Don’t you have a taped episode of That 70’s Show to go home and watch?
Download:
MP3: Fresh Cherries From Yakima-”Sailor Hats & Cigarettes”
MP3: Cold War Kids-”Passing the Hat”
The Tell ‘Em Why You Mad Bonus Track
MP3: The Notorious BIG-”Kick in the Door”
Top Photo via 2 Live Looks
Posted in Best Of, It Got Weird, Didn't It? | 17 Comments »
November 26th, 2007
Sometime after 50 arrived, the art of the narrative wandered into a blizzard of coke raps, artificial hood mythologizing and pandering simplicity. Complexity no longer moved units, and with sales sliding, Scarface xeroxes and ringtone rappers became the safe bets. You can’t blame the suits either. They’re just trying to save their jobs and besides, Young Jeezy went platinum, Rick Ross nearly did, and Mims, The Shop Boyz and Soulja Boy had the most popular singles of 07.
Of course, hip-hop isn’t dead, but it’s hard not to deny that over the last decade, the major label system has done an abysmal job of putting on talented young rappers. Outkast know this. Their latest song leaked from DJ Drama’s upcoming Gangsta Grillz album is called “The Art of Storytelling, Part 4″ and from the title alone, you knew it was going to be special, considering the first 2 are vital organs of Aquemini, with Volume 3, a remix aided by Slick Rick, arguably the greatest storyteller of them all. On the surface level, it’s easy autobiography, Andre kicking a stream-of-consciousness rant about groupies. Big Boi playing Outkast’s id, offering menacing backhands and boasts about the hierarchy of his harem. But that’s just the frame.
Inside the lines, Andre subtly indicts the hair-metal excess of contemporary hip-hop (how dare I throw it on the floor when people are poor”), re-affirming his outsider status in spite of the 30-plus million sold and drawing from the wellspring of self-righteous anger and terminal hunger that feeds so many great artists. The most played-out cliche in hip-hop is “the game needs [insert rapper’s name here]. But if the game needs anyone, it’s Outkast. Not the bullshit neo-Prince of The Love Below, the moody, cynical brilliance of their prime. Outkast were the last of a breed. The last great weirdos allowed to sneak through the gates, before they shuttered in a sober gray clangor.
10 11 Years Gone
“Part 4″ finds Andre searching for the moral compass that hip-hop lost sometime in the late 90s when greed no longer became good, it became necessary. Jay-Z’s rant on American Gangster was right. It’s stupid to blame hip-hop when Tila Tequila’s bi-sexual dating show, ultra-violent films, and geo-political ambition often seem like America’s chief exports. Without lapsing into strident protest, Andre points out the boring desperation of most rappers that desperately try to think of new permutations of the same tired tropes (”these ain’t these same old rhymes to have you dancing in some club”.)
Extraordinarily self-aware, Andre knows we’re listening. How can he not? This is Outkast after all, the guys responsible for the best selling hip-hop album of all time (and arguably, the best). Yet rather than pathetically bitching and moaning about Internet rumors (not to name any names), Andre has spent his comeback year decimating every beat thrown his way. If it feels like he’s taunting us it’s because he is, with his lyrics and flow rust-proof, despite frittering away a half-decade presumably taking liquid acid and watching Purple Rain on repeat.
“Da’ Art of Storytellin’” is a challenge to all-comers, a dare to the rap world to see if anyone stronger has emerged since Andre got bored with hip-hop sometime around the millennium. It’s that all-too-rare, adrenaline-racing, boombox monstrosity that whip-saws you to attention and makes you remember why you loved hip-hop so much in the first place. In an ideal rap world, this song would get at the very least as much burn on car stereos as “Soulja Girl” (notice, Andre’s bumping 100 Miles And Running). The sort of thing you’d hope would shift some teenage rapper’s paradigm from the obscene commercialism of the newest school, to the line of storytellers descended from Slick Rick and Kool G Rap, This should be required rewind listening for all aspiring rappers. Fuck being a motivational speaker, an actor, or a “brand,” rappers should want to tell stories, not be them.
Download:
MP3: Outkast-”Da Art of Storytellin’ Pt. 4″
Posted in Miscellany, Best Of | 10 Comments »
