Dec
05

The Ten Bizarre Yet Strangely Rational Things About Cam’ron & Mase’s “Horse and Carriage,” Upon Re-Watching It a Decade Later

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28ciL_3hxWg 10. For his first single, Cam’ron Giles chose to introduce himself to the world by informing it that there was a reasonable possibility that they “might see [him] in designer underwear, in a reclining leather chair.” A disturbing image that does nothing to reconcile this video of Cam in blue polka dot boxers purchased… Continue reading »

Oct
31

Why KLF’s “3 a.m. Eternal” Continues To “Rock Me” 17 Years Later

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXEOESuiYcA 10. At first, the Metropolis-like dystopia of urban ruins and decay conjures a less than dazzling vision of the future. But next thing you know–bam!–there’s the multi-racial KLF collective, guys in leather, and guitar shredding a-plenty. Suddenly, the prospect of dining on squirrels and sundry carrion doesn’t seem so bad after all. 9. Like… Continue reading »

Aug
20

10 Thoughts Going Through Snow’s Head On The “Informer” Video Shoot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggjoSmSp4XU 10. I sincerely hope that word doesn’t get out that “the people” who came around looking for me, were really just Mormon missionaries. 9. Speaking of possible rumors to pro-actively quell. If the wrong definition of “licky boom boom doom,” is allowed to be disseminated, we could be ruined. Mental note: also stop using… Continue reading »

Jul
22

For Those Keeping Score That’s Still a One Hot Album Every 10 Year Average

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVkXiMdMA9E I believe the direct quote was “Fuck the LA Times.” According to this other Times piece, Nas says my review “disrespected him.” Which is probably true, but then again, I never wrote a rap bragging about being in a Lex watching Kathy Lee and Regis. To say nothing about that unforgettable time when Halle… Continue reading »

Jun
19

10 Possible Things That May Have “Happened To That Boy” Judging from the Clipse & Birdman Song of the Same Title

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX6rC1krGp0 10. After noticing a spare copy of Pigeon Racer Digest: the Thinking Person’s Journal of Racing Pigeons in the Hot Boys’ trailer,* “that boy” decided to join the American Racing Pigeon Union and make a go of it in the wide world of ornithology. 9. Decided to leave Magnolia because hanging out with Baby… Continue reading »

May
20

How PM Dawn Could’ve Avoided Getting Set Adrift On “Memory Bliss”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMpmW68VnaE Maybe instead of wallowing in unchecked misery over “the girl with the fat diamond ring” (really, the fat diamond ring is the main thing that you remember about her?), you should just step to one of the mermaids swimming around the set of your music video. Granted, mermaid human/relations have always been a bumpy… Continue reading »

May
05

Why Biz Markie Should Have Known From the Get-Go That He Was More Than “Just a Friend”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xtr5-hOjJfs Markie appears to have had a Homer Simpsonian sense of delusion. Had he looked at himself in the mirror? The guy was 30 lbs. overweight, rapped like Corky from Life Goes On and appeared to have a poor orthodontist. Granted, he was a fantastic DJ and beat-boxer but just check the company he was… Continue reading »

Apr
18

10 Reasons Why The Wu-Tang Clan’s “The Heart Gently Weeps” Video Might Be Their Worst Ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbhwQ1acnY0 1. Who made the decision to have an Asian Bjork clone perform a feather dance for one of the video’s main plot threads? Okay fine, we all know the answer was Rza, but really, was Erykah Badu that busy taking trips to Israel with Jay Electronica that Bobby couldn’t convince her to show up… Continue reading »

Apr
08

The 10 Rules of Pimpology According to the Video for Do or Die’s “Po’ Pimp”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzwfyPLZHb8 10. The ability to acquire flaming pennies (these were also reportedly Shaquille O’ Neal’s last words upon leaving Orlando). Such magic coins will give their owners the ability to turn homeless people into suave and dapper, ladies men and thus realize their dreams of using P.I.M.P.O.L.O.G.Y. to logically, learn these tricks biology. Obviously. 9.… Continue reading »

Mar
07

Who’s the “Boss?”: The True Definition of Boss According to Rick Ross

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlXjPq-f96o If there are any aspiring young rappers out there reading this, now is the time to rejoice. With his second album, Trilla, Rick Ross has proven that all you need to do to have a viable rap career is the foresight to rhyme “Ross” with “Boss.” For those keeping score, that’s two albums on… Continue reading »

Older posts «