God Forgives, I Don’t: The Menu

Slava P is thinking of a master ham. If there’s one thing I love, it’s a good Rick Ross album. If I would have to add another thing to love, it would be the fine, gourmet meals that I eat...
By    July 26, 2012

Slava P is thinking of a master ham.

If there’s one thing I love, it’s a good Rick Ross album. If I would have to add another thing to love, it would be the fine, gourmet meals that I eat rarely and fantasize about often. So with Rozay’s album leaking less than a week before it was scheduled to be released, and myself being as hungry as always, I decided to combine my two loves into a synesthesia-styled fantasy. This isn’t an album, it’s a menu.

Pray For Us

Cocktail

Start your meal at GFID with a tall glass of mineral water & a twist of lime.

Pirates

Appetizer

Two pieces of tilapia, lightly battered and fried in oil to a crispy finish. Greasy but classy, this new twist on a familiar dish is sure to excite the palate.

3 Kings

Appetizer

A sampler of our seafood appetizers: pan seared scallops, seabass sliders and iced king crab. Feel as if you’re walking the Mediterranean beach as you realize that you’ll never have enough money to visit it.

Ashamed

Sandwich

A wholewheat pita stuffed with turkey bacon, swiss cheese, sundried tomatoes and romaine lettuce. Familiar flavors, but it tastes better since it’s served with some brown sauce drawn in a pattern on the plate.

Maybach Music IV

Signature Dish

The house dish at GFID, this grilled hanger steak is drizzled in a zesty white wine (Ne-Yo) and served on a bed of alfredo pasta. There are also some tomatoes on the outro, but nobody ever eats them.

Sixteen

Signature Dish

The predictably rich and flavorful meat that GFID has built its name upon is joined in marriage with an experimental style brought by a guest chef. This center-cut of lamb is made all the more delicious by the soy-curry-tofu side that compliment it.

Amsterdam

Pasta

A whole wheat spaghetti dish made special by the coconut-shrimp and pineapple sauce that tops it. Some may find the sauce overly sweet, eat at your own discretion.

Hold Me Back

Sandwich

A roast beef sandwich on rye. The roast beef is overcooked and the bread is stale, but it’s delicious if you’re drunk.

911

Sandwich

Served on an oven-toasted baguette, this pulled pork sandwich is the closest thing we can offer to those customers asking for a “BMF” or “MC Hammer”.

So Sophisticated

Entree

This surf & turf platter mixes racks of lemon-pepper prime ribs with buttered lobster that’s been garnished with thyme. You may need to unbutton your pants after you finish this one.

Presidential

Salad

Mixed greens, diced peppers and chopped pears make for a light toassed salad that is drenched in ranch dressing (non-negotiable)

Ice Cold

Entree

For those not looking to become lethargic after their meal, this grilled Tuna and chopped artichoke salad make for a great alternative. Plus, Omarion will bring it to your table!

Touch’n You

Salad

The house salad, served with a light balsamic vinaigrette. Order this for your girlfriend.

Diced Pineapples

Cocktail

A blend of three liqueurs come together to make a delicious chilled daiquiri. However, the cocktail is dressed with a number of umbrellas and swords that you must make it through (Wale) before you can taste the good stuff.

Ten Jesus Pieces

Entree

Curry chicken presented and dressed with an assortment of greens (Stalley), but to be honest, you probably won’t even notice the greens.

Triple Beam Dreams

Entree

Our last restaurant’s signature dish was so popular, we decided to re-heat it and serve the leftovers to you!

Rich Forever

Side

We found some more leftovers. These aren’t as great, and they taste a little stale, but they’re still better than the house salads.

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