Looking for Usher: A Haiku Review

Slava P. graduated from the Percy Miller School of Disembodied Poetics. Looking for Myself: Haiku Review Can’t Stop Won’t Stop feat will.i.am What the fuck is this…. are you fucking...
By    June 11, 2012

Slava P. graduated from the Percy Miller School of Disembodied Poetics.

Looking for Myself:
Haiku Review

Can’t Stop Won’t Stop feat will.i.am
What the fuck is this….
are you fucking serious?
I hate you, Usher.

Scream
A radio’s dream,
or at the very least a
slick date-rape anthem

Climax
Usher cries loudly
about going nowhere fast.
Irony; Diplo.

I Care For U
Sultry vocal tones,
with a healthy dose of wub.
Did not hate this one.

Show Me
This may as well be
a Bieber B-Side, but with-
out all the danger.

Lemme See feat, Rick Ross
“I am aggressive,
in both life and in the sheets!
Rick Ross has to watch.”

Twisted feat. Pharrell
If this video
isn’t shot in a saloon,
they’re wasting your time

Dive
‘King of Pop’ or not,
he’s the closest we have to
a male Beyonce

What Happened To U feat Noah “40” Shebib
Something that almost
sounds like it’s from ‘Confessions’,
watered down with piss.

Looking 4 Myself feat. Luke Steele
A crisis of self.
Inward gazing talk-rapping.
Nothing accomplished.

Numb feat. A Bunch Of Foreigners
The fists will be pumped.
You’ll hear this four times at the
end-scene of four films.

Lessons For The Lover
Why is this the first
song on an Usher album
that you can hump to?

Sins Of My Father
Mature and poignant.
More of this would be nice, less
Euro-crossover.

Euphoria feat. More Foriegners
Usher, enough man.
It’s getting repetitive.
We know, you’re ‘with it’.

I.F.U.
A song that’s so safe,
that the pun in its title
is never explained.

Say The Words feat. Surahn Sid
Uncomfortable.
Keyboards mixed with falsetto,
equals much creepy.

2nd Round
I’ve never said this,
but do you know what would help?
A Sean Kingston verse.

Hot Thing feat. A$AP Rocky
One part rising star,
eight parts of utter nonsesne.
Record of the year.

Stream:

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