October 31st, 2008
In a last-minute burst of inspiration, I’ve decided to dress as Humpty Hump. Somehow, in a brief hour excursion through Los Feliz Village, I managed to acquire all the right accouterments: Groucho glasses, a gold cable, a black furry hat, a polka dot tie and an old woman’s overcoat.
Coupled with my all-world Humpty Hump impression (Jayson Greene, back me up on this one) and enough whiskey, it should make for an interesting evening–provided I don’t use the phrase, “hey yo, fat girl, c’mere, are you ticklish?” too much. Anyone who asks if I’m Shock G gets a kidney punch, though serious bonus points to those who inquire if I’m M.C. Hammer on crack.
Download:
MP3: Digital Underground-”Humpty Dance”
MP3: Digital Underground-”Kiss You Back”
Bonus: Digital Underground-”Kiss You Back” Video”
Posted in Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought? | 7 Comments »
October 31st, 2008
10. At first, the Metropolis-like dystopia of urban ruins and decay conjures a less than dazzling vision of the future. But next thing you know–bam!–there’s the multi-racial KLF collective, guys in leather, and guitar shredding a-plenty. Suddenly, the prospect of dining on squirrels and sundry carrion doesn’t seem so bad after all.
9. Like Snap’s epic economic treatise, “The Power.” “3 a.m. Eternal” features a garbled, heavily accented, crypto-Communist message at the beginning of the song, portending a future filled with widespread mangling of the English language. Clearly, this was intended to foreshadow the emergence of George Bush and Sarah Palin.
8. Rappers named Ricardo Da Force who rock geek glasses and program beats on Zach Morris cell phones. Enough said.
The KLF: Not a Fan of Daylight Savings Time
7. KLF also went by the name Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu. Coincidentally this was also Deerhunter’s original name, for vastly different reasons.
6. For inventing the word, “baseballistics.” Or did they?
5. Because I want to live in a future with girls who dance to hip-house while wearing azure Druid cloaks. Sort of.
4. Arabic Flute Solos.
I’m Just Going To Refrain From Making Some Sort of Really Bad Pun Here, K? K.
3. Because the thought that somewhere upon hearing this song, Cole, Civilles and the entirety of their factory o’ music broke out in tears.
2. The metaphysical questions the song raises. Is time really eternal? Or is it only eternal when you have to sit through a Kansas City Royals-Seattle Mariners game in September. And if time really is eternal, is there even a point to me writing this blog? And if there isn’t a point to me writing this, is there ever a point to me writing anything. (anonymous hate commenters, wink wink, nudge, nudge )
1. Because whether directly or indirectly, 17 years after its release, this song and much of KLF’s influence can heard in 2008’s most vital groups, from Gang Gang Dance to The Knux to Kanye West’s Elegant Emo Extravaganza, to that god awful Wiz Khalifa song where he samples Alice DJ (there aren’t enough “pauses” in the world to atone for that one.)
Download:
MP3: The KLF-”3 a.m. Eternal”
Posted in 10 Questions Raised, Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought? | 6 Comments »
October 30th, 2008
I ask you this, people of America: what exactly do we know about this so-called Tito the Builder character and why have we never seen him and Tito Santana in the same room? I want answers, Palin, and I want them now.
Download:
MP3: Santana-”Evil Ways”
See Also:
Posted in Miscellany | 2 Comments »
October 30th, 2008
Scott Towler’s screeds can normally be found here, or outside the Silverlake Gelson’s, where he berates innocent by-standers for buying too much soap.
This fall marks television’s return following last years’ ill-conceived writers strike, and while I initially thought the slate might be the ideal jump-start to coax audiences to return to the tube, thus far it’s been a fairly mixed bag. The few glimmers of hope are below.
Gary Unmarried (CBS, Wednesdays)
The most traditional of the new batch is “Gary Unmarried,” CBS’s (no, CBS? get out of here, you sexy senior citizen, you) multi-cam attempt at recreating the 1950s in “Gary Unmarried.” Jay Mohr stars as a divorcee who owns a house painting business, and get this- doesn’t get along with his ex wife! Didn’t see that one coming. Most ex-wives have so much going for them. Rather predictably, they squabble over their children, his ex-wife’s recent engagement to their former marriage counselor (played flawlessly by Ed Begley Jr.), and their money/possessions. Quite trodden territory, yet still timeless in it’s own way. And maybe that’s why I keep tuning in: waiting for that time when Gary finally says, “One of these days, Alice- pow, right in the kisser.” The modern twist that would spike the ratings? He’d then actually hit her in the face.
Worst Week (CBS, Mondays)
On the opposite end of that spectrum, CBS also debuted “Worst Week” this fall, a show more in tune with NBC’s recent development moves than CBS’s traditional schedule. The show, a single-cam British import, follows the life of Sam Briggs who, with nothing but good intentions, ends up having the worst week of his life. Think of it as a well cast TV version of Meet the Parents. Everything that can possibly happen to this character does. From the outset, we find him helping a drunk co-worker get home, only to have her throw up on him. Faced with a tough decision, Sam must either wear the puke-covered clothes, or borrow some of his drunk co-worker’s gear. He opts for the latter, only to have her wake up to his stark naked body standing in front of her. She immediately throws him out, and he’s forced to take an $80 cab ride to his in-laws home in a make-shift diaper. The show continues in this pattern, but many wonder how long it can last. After all, it’s predecessor operated in real time (hence, a season of “Worst Week” in England was 7 episodes, one for each day of said worst week). To be honest, I’m less enthused about the show itself, as I am in the fact that CBS is actually branching out from their traditional boring patterns. They took a chance here, and whether it ends up lasting or not, it’s already received substantial critical acclaim and has improved with every episode.
Kath & Kim (NBC, Thursdays)
The most hyped (and advertised) new comedy of the fall also happened to be NBC’s only new half-hour this year. Though “new” may be the wrong word to assign here, as “Kath and Kim” is adapted from a hit Australian program. The show follows Kath, played by Molly Shannon, and Kim, played by Selma Blair, through the course of their mall-going, retail-therapy filled lives. Both deliver masterfully in their performances, and the show fills a female-driven gap that NBC has experienced since the conclusion of “Will & Grace.” Arguably, the real story here is the outstanding performances from Christopher Guest-alum, John Michael Higgins, and breakout new-comer Mikey Day. While the show remains very female driven, there’s still plenty to like for the men; in fact, half of the show’s cleverness is rooted in its ability to take the most crass subjects and phrase them intelligently.
Life and Times of Tim (HBO, Sundays)
Last on the list of this fall’s finest is HBO’s “The Life and Times of Tim,” created by and starring Steve Dildarian. This show might be the funniest of the, crossing every known line imaginable. From shitting on the floor at work trying to save your bosses dog to objecting to your future sister-in-laws wedding just for the laughs. The best part? Tim loses every time (like the Clippers), keeping him redeemable and human. Moreover, Dildarian’s dead pan stoicism only heightens the hilarity of each situation thrust upon him. In an almost Seinfeldian way, Tim comments on his own life with keen and perspicacious observations. keeps you in stitches every week. The only new animated show of the fall, its King of the Hill-like realism means that its got no logical reason to be animated, other than the fact that it makes these everything that much more surreal. Just like Entourage, except that this actually makes you want your HBO subscription.
Download:
MP3: Wilco-”Kicking Television”
MP3: Talking Heads-”Television Man”
Posted in Great Scott | 4 Comments »
October 29th, 2008
Via the inimitable Alfred Soto, comes this 1984 Buchanan/Braden Program clip, featuring Gore Vidal at his most mordant: alleging that Lincoln was syphilitic, eviscerating the idea of the film auteur, and dismissing Ernest Hemingway as a glorified Field and Stream writer with a gift for publicity.
Download:
MP3: Rakim-”New York (Ya Out There)”
Posted in Miscellany | 4 Comments »
October 29th, 2008
A hearty “go-to-hell” to the guy on the elliptical machine yesterday who kept on unleashing violent paroxysms of laughter every 15 seconds while watching an episode of Reno 911. Honestly…is it too much to ask for a man to be able to read his so-called Time magazine in peace?
Also, to whomever it was doing that cover of “Sweet Dreams,” when I was walking past the Hotel Cafe, you get no points. Had it been “Walking On Broken Glass,” then maybe we could get down.
Lastly, to the guy in the Eazy-E costume at The Knux album release party last night at Cinespace (they tore it down by the way ), you’re a-okay in my book.
Download:
MP3: Mobb Deep-”Hell On Earth (Front Lines)”
Posted in Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought? | No Comments »
October 29th, 2008
After a long hiatus spent attempting to assassinate Blake DeWitt and blogging at Clap Cowards, Zilla Rocca has returned. If you have yet to hear his excellent new mixtape, Bring Me the Head of Zilla Rocca, download it here. I can assure you that it is better than anything Charles Hamilton and Asher Roth will ever do (no XXL.)
Since releasing my mixtape Bring Me the Head of Zilla Rocca! I’ve been beseiged with anecdotes, requests, and child support payments by ladies and gentleman who want to know how Flow God Zilla really gets down. But instead of pulling back the sheet and giving you the Wizard (no Fred Savage), I’m going to share with you the type of ladies who inspire me to write lewd sex tales because the best love stories come from rejection via girls who like Grey’s “Anatomy” a little too much.
1. Girls who wear hoodies/sweatpants/Uggs. Any one of those pieces by themselves, and I’m done. If they are wearing the Holy Trinity, I am eviscerated like the vampires in “Blade.”
2. Girls who wear those huge “movie star” sunglasses. It makes their face look small and their persona to be overly important. Listen sweethear, we’re both in line at the dry cleaner. Fall back.
3. Girls with full sleeve tattoos or massive pieces that take up more than 22% of their skin. We always start off vibing, and then things somehow go awry. Maybe they’re lesbians.
4. Bartenders. I’ve read and watched “surefire methods” on how to succesfully scoop a hot bartender, but honestly, that’s WAAAY too much effort when you can probably bump into one at a yardsale the next afternoon or something. Also, I never wake up in time to attend yard sales.
5. Strippers. Again, too much work. Sure they smell good, they definitely don’t need YOU paying for everything, and they hate their dad. But the only stripper I’ve seen who was pretty awesome off the poll was D’angelo Barksdale’s chick (and later Lester Freamon’s main boo) on The Wire. ”Velvetina” and “Secret” don’t belong as contact names in my iPhone. But it would help my rap catalogue.
6. Girls I was “friends” with in the 90s. Sometimes an impression is too strong to shake. I give women all the credit in the world for seeing through most guys’ bullshit and alterior motives, so why can’t my female “friends” from the 90s see that I lusted after them and the only reason I didn’t make a move was because they had a boyfriend who later got them pregnant? Your mom knew, your girlfriends knew, and your boyfriends knew. I wasn’t on the phone with you till 1 am about why Jimmy was “an asshole” who got with your “best friend” and your “cousin” for my health. I was a loser with an acne then, now I’m a grown man with skills! RECOGNIZE A TRUE DON WHEN YOU SEE ONE!
7. Girls who are in love with other guys but aren’t assertive enough to decline their number when asked for it by me. This is the equivalent to accepting a friend request from a ”hot hip hop producer with industry beatz, eight bangin’ trackz for $20!!!” on MySpace and you don’t even rap. Get it together!
8. Girls with dark lip hair.
9. Professional girls aged 24-27 who want a “normal” life (i.e. me proposing after dating for a year). I spend most of my time with other industry-type folks (read: insecure artists with minor drinking/drug problems), I am addicted to Netflix and DVR, I spend all my money on CDs and sneakers, and I have an unhealthy collection of toys, doo-dads, Chicago Bears merchandise, and Adidas track jackets. You have a 401K and a cat. This isn’t going to work out.
10. Girls from New Jersey. I don’t know what it is–my deep rooted Souf Filly axcent? The coke I don’t sniff? The Keystone State sensibilties I wear on my sleeve like a tribal band tattoo I can’t afford to lazer remove? The garbage I toss out of my car window onto your drive way? You let me know–we share the same zip code, we eat the same overpriced panini’s at cafe’s on the verge of collape, and we steal the same WiFi from our older neighbors. Girl, I’m here for you. *turns up “End of the Road” and walks with a cane on the beach*
Posted in The Beat Generation | 14 Comments »
October 28th, 2008
Not normally into the show promotion game, but this was a late add to the Spaceland calendar and you’d be more hard-pressed to find two more awesome entities in Los Angeles than the Parson Redheads and Aquarium Drunkard. In all likelihood, I will be in attendance, so all assassination attempts, flower bouquets and impromptu blunt sessions can be directed there. I’ll be the one with the Top Hat, the fur coat and the mandolin.
Download:
MP3: The Parson Redheads-”Got It All”
MP3: The Parson Redheads-”Full Moon”
MP3: Zilla Rocca ft. Reef The Lost Cauze & Nico the Beast-”Get That Gun” (with “Full Moon” sample”)
Posted in Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought? | 1 Comment »
October 28th, 2008
About two and a half years ago, I jettisoned my prosperous Jai Alai career in exchange for the champagne wishes and caviar dreams world o’ blogging. At the time, I distinctly remember mocking music writers who championed the most esoteric music possible: ’40s Turkish Jazz. ’60s Croatian Psych. 18 th Century Prussian Waltz Music (Frederick the Great: Great enlightened monarch? Or greatest enlightened monarch?)
30 months later, I’m proud to report that my subconscious has decided to punish me for my sneering, self-righteous roots (a stark difference from my sneering, self-righteous, present, mind you.) Indeed, I’ve sipped the the Mint Tuareg Tea-flavored Kool-Aid, with a once fledgling interest in African music turned total obsession–my latest favorite, a compilation of 1970s Underground Algerian Rai released on the aptly named Sublime Frequencies label.
Dusted has the informative, thorough review , but in brief, conceive a cross between the smoky, wraith-like guitars of Tuareg Bedouin music and the heavenly bronze blast of classic 70s afro-beat. The lyrics are in Arabic so don’t look to me for an interpretation. All I know is that track two is called “Mazal Nesker Mazal (I’m Still Getting Drunk… Still.)” Ideal for that very special lush in your life.
Buy 1970s Algerian Proto-Rai Underground
Download:
MP3: Bellemou & Benfissa- “Li Maandouche L’Auto (He, Who Doesn’t Own a Car)”
MP3: Groupe El Azhar-”Mazal Nesker Mazal (I’m Still Getting Drunk… Still)”
Posted in Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought? | 5 Comments »
October 27th, 2008
I ignored the “Gettin’ Up” remix featuring Eve because well, it’s an Eve song in the year 2008 and that fact seems explanation enough. Naturally, I couldn’t apply the same logic to the subsequent Apple Juice Kid remix featuring the legendary, Camp Lo, who I can continue to ride for since they sagaciously switched back to their original name (after an ill-fated experiment with “The Lo.”)
I’ve always been slightly more partial to Sonny Cheeba but Geechie Suede kills it here, with a slick, sybaritic strut about “tiger-skin sofas, charms on chokers, love the way the lemonade lemon lay on the loafers/after 7, still drinking happy hour/pineapple apple martini/apple sour.” Let’s just focus on the alliteration at hand and try to ignore the fact that he’s openly admitting to swilling apple martinis. Who knew that Camp Lo were huge Sex and the City fans?
Download: (h/t Nah Right)
MP3: Q-Tip ft. Camp Lo-”Gettin’ Up (Remix)”
Posted in Are You From the Lester Bangs School of Thought? | 7 Comments »
