Photo via Stefano Paltera/LA Times
I don’t even know where to begin. I mean I braced myself for the weirdness, but Monday night’s Lil Wayne concert at the House of Blues may have been the most surreal show I’ve ever been to. Among the bizarre things witnessed:
- Wayne repeatedly applying lip gloss taken from his professional lip gloss girl standing behind him (see pictures of the lip gloss girl and more at Play.) There are several things that I never want to know. One of them is why Lil Wayne needs to pay someone 40,000 k a year (rough estimate) to keep his lips moist.
- Suge Knight sitting at Lil Wayne’s private table on the upstairs balcony with a young and very attractive girl grinding into his lap. Me, resisting the urge to recommend that Suge hang Lil Wayne out of a window to procure his publishing. Hey, everyone’s got to eat.
- A guest appearance from Baby, with father and son displaying a salient and palpable homo-erotic current. At times, watching Weezy Fitzgerald Baby and Birdman dance together felt like a combination of Footloose and Deliverance.
- Wayne repeatedly sipping from a white styrofoam cup on stage, presumably infuriating Al Gore for his lack of eco-friendliness. No word on whether or not the liquid in said cup was pinker than the Easter Rabbit.
- The worst guitar solo ever performed. Like making Bill S. Preston Esq. look like Eddie Van Halen bad
- A performance of “Pussy Monster,” with Wayne’s clown-red pants practically down to his knees and him writhing on the floorboards, phantom-fucking the air. In other news, it can be safely relayed that the phrase “Pussy Monster,” is not allowed to be used in a family newspaper, even if said phrase is referring to a song title. This is probably a good thing.
- Wayne walking off the stage wearing a white robe with the words “Best Rapper Alive” sown onto the back, lip-synching to the sweet strains of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” Presumably, because “I’m Every Woman,” would’ve just been totally over the top.
LA Times: Lil Wayne Live at the House of Blues
Download:
MP3: Lil Wayne: “La La La”
MP3: Lil Wayne-”I Feel Like Dying”
MP3: Lil Wayne-”Off the Docks”
17 comments
wade word says:
June 18, 2008 at 8:26 am (UTC -7)
Uh… I wish this guy werent a rapper. Just keep sippin that drank, Weez. It will all work itself out in a few years. Okay, I’ve got to go and let my Deodorant Girl freshen up my scent.
BIG OC DIESEL says:
June 18, 2008 at 9:18 am (UTC -7)
YO CUZ..WTF? I REPEAT WTF?.A LIKE GLOSS HOLDER.I WORK THE WRONG JOB.I WORK RETAIL AND MAKE 35,000 A YEAR NOT INCLUDING MONTHLY BONUSES..WHEN ALL ALONG I COULDA BEEN A GLOSS HOLDER.LOL..YO THIS MO FO GOTTA BE HIGH AS A GIRAFFE’S PUSSY TO THINK OF A JOB FOR SOMEONE LIKE THIS.LOL. AND WHAT WAS THE INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
“DO YOU HAVE STRONG WRIST”
“HOW MANY CHAP STICKS CAN YOU HOLD IN ONE HAND”
“IF I GET A COLD SORE YOU KNOW YOUR FIRED RIGHT”
HAHAHA.
HE IS THE FUNNIEST YO
Ben Westhoff says:
June 18, 2008 at 9:28 am (UTC -7)
The not weird thing is that he did most of that stuff at Summer Jam a few weeks ago, minus the love shuffle with his surrogate father. And I wasn’t sitting close enough to see who was putting what on his lips.
Disco Vietnam says:
June 18, 2008 at 11:38 am (UTC -7)
Black Thought? Really? We’re still trying to convince ourselves of that?
Passion of the Weiss says:
June 18, 2008 at 11:46 am (UTC -7)
Having seen them both in a span of four days it’s not even close in terms of pure technical skill. Thought is just better at rapping. Of course, Wayne has more charisma and personality which you can say makes him a “greater” rapper. But in terms of strictly “rapping,” there really is no question. At least in terms of the live show.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Thought is quite often dull as hell but there is no disputing his level of proficiency.
Disco Vietnam says:
June 18, 2008 at 12:01 pm (UTC -7)
That reminds me of my dream to one day interview Canibus and Steve Vai at the same time.
Passion of the Weiss says:
June 18, 2008 at 12:07 pm (UTC -7)
You had that dream too? Can I ask you a question, did you feel Canibus’ need to ramble about aliens drinking hydrochloric acid with naked Indians in the desert just a bit superfluous?
Zilla Rocca says:
June 18, 2008 at 12:11 pm (UTC -7)
I want to hear the Wayne apologists honestly defend this metro junkie.
The floor is yours.
padraig says:
June 18, 2008 at 2:04 pm (UTC -7)
@weiss/disco viet – there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that a Canibus/Vai LP would be, against all odds, overwhelmingly fabulous, the theory being that their enormous reservoirs of insane, egotastical bombast would meet & cancel each other in out in a reverse (or a double reverse? I’m not really clear here, though I’m sure Canibus could work the mathematical theory part of it for me) of the 2 negatives make a positive rule, leaving behind only their equally vast wealth of sheer technical skill. or, at least it would be so OVER THE TOP that there was no choice but to bow down to its’ mightiness, Canibus rapping double-time about numerology & the moorish science temple & discordianism or whatever (really, who cares what the fuck he’s rapping about?) while Vai did, you know, whatever the hell it is he does, playing those Van Halen on steroids solos with his like teeth & his toes & his dick or whatever. hopefully backed by some like 1986 synth drums, all big & hollow & tacky. or neil peart, who I’m sure could liven up affairs with a trillion gratuitous fills & cymbal splashes.
it would be the antithesis of minimalism.
on a serious note I have to admit to liking Canibus (with reservations of course), though mainly as a corollary to liking Ras Kass, aka the better Canibus.
paige-CyberPR says:
June 18, 2008 at 2:57 pm (UTC -7)
hahaha im so happy that you just found a correct time and place to reference Billy S. Preston Esq. that is fantastic
Passion of the Weiss says:
June 18, 2008 at 5:08 pm (UTC -7)
Sadly or not so sadly, I seem to live my life by the code that there is no wrong time to reference Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan. What can I say, Wyld Stallyns rule.
Weezy's Lip Gloss Girl says:
June 19, 2008 at 8:19 am (UTC -7)
Sheesh…gimme a break, man!
This gig is better than working at Fashion Bug.
Stew V. says:
June 20, 2008 at 10:53 am (UTC -7)
Dude, PHANTOM-FUCKING? Seriously.
Let Me Learn You Something: Tha S Ence (Hustle Simmons) « Clap Cowards says:
July 1, 2008 at 6:53 am (UTC -7)
[...] polos and works IT at an office building or is brash/flashy/wears sunglasses indoors/chain wallet/personal lip gloss girl. Tha S Ence falls somewhere in the middle–he looks like Large Professor but wears [...]
Bitch I’m the bomb like tick. Tick. « Adventures Under Ground says:
July 6, 2008 at 11:16 am (UTC -7)
[...] July 6, 2008 · No Comments Swoon. [...]
LIL WEEZY WIFEY says:
December 15, 2008 at 4:16 pm (UTC -7)
DAMMNN … I GET MY RED PANTSS AND I’M SO ECXITED TO USE IT… CUZZ I LOVE HIS STYLE AND I LOVE HIMM BUT I LUBBBBBBBBBB A NAHHHHHHHHH LOVE JUST LOVEVVVVVVVV TRUE LOVE MYY GIRLSSSSSSSSS
Passion of the Weiss » Blog Archive » LA Times: Live-Lil Wayne At the Gibson Amphitheatre says:
December 23, 2008 at 1:06 am (UTC -7)
[...] left that are capable of going gold (Outkast notwithstanding). More importantly, he performed sans lip gloss holder, which one can only view as [...]