G-Funk Week Concluded: 10 Qualities Highly Sought After in a Regulator As Gleaned From Warren G & Nate Dogg’s “Regulate”
1. Not being just any geek off the streets
How To Avoid Being A “Geek Off the Streets: Learn how to how be to handy with the steel and earn your keep.
Best Models to Emulate: Gay steel workers, Andrew Carnegie, Iron Man
2. Not Tweaking When You See a Car Full of Girls
How To Avoid Tweaking When You See a Car Full of Girls: Drink less coffee.
Best Models to Emulate: Nate Dogg, Warren G, Dylan McKay
3. The Wisdom to Avoid Dice Games on 21 and Lewis
How To Avoid Dice Games on 21 and Lewis: Consult AOL City Search for a more suitable and safe environment to find games of chance and miscellaneous sinning.
Worst Models to Emulate: Pete Rose, Nicky Arnstein. Dice Raw
4. The Ability To Glide And Swerve So Hard That You Make Hookers Hit the Curb
How To Glide and Swerve Properly: Malt liquor.
Best Models to Emulate: E-40, Too Short, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
5. The Will To Pull Out Your Strap And Lay Busters Down (If Necessary)
How to Obtain This Will: Nihilist German Philosophy.
Best Models to Emulate: Nietzsche, Heidegger, Buster Keaton.
6. A Facility In Switching One’s Mind Back To “Freak Mode”
How to Switch One’s Mind Back Into Freak Mode: A long walk and a few Zen Buddhist chants.
Best Models to Emulate: Freeky Zeekey, Freaky Tah, Rick James.
7. Getting Girls to Ask You For Rides
How To Get Girls To Ask You For Rides: Rims, malt liquor and/or blunts. (May only work in the LBC.)
Best Models to Emulate: Jeff Gordon, 2Pac, Anyone with the last name Dogg.
8. Directions to the East Side Motel
How To Get Directions to the East Side Motel: Google Maps
Best Models to Emulate: Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Eric Schmidt
9. Knowledge that Rhythm is Life and Life is Rhythm
How To Obtain Such Knowledge: G-Funk Classics Volume 1 & 2.
Best Models to Emulate: Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation 1814,” The Eurhythmics, Snap’s “Rhythm is a Dancer”
10. Smoke Like Nate Dogg Smokes
How To Smoke Like Nate Dogg Smokes: Be high every day.
Best Models To Emulate: Redman, Hunter S. Thompson, Nate Dogg.
Download:
MP3: Warren G & Nate Dogg-”Regulate“
January 11th, 2008 at 4:38 am
jeff, you just raised the game.
“i looked at the blogger said ‘damn, what’s next?’”
January 11th, 2008 at 11:23 am
How To Smoke Like Nate Dogg Smokes: Be high every day.
Best Models To Emulate: Redman, Hunter S. Thompson, Nate Dogg, Disco Vietnam
January 11th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
You officially have put my gimmick to shame. I bow to the master.
January 11th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
I’m gettin’ jacked! I’m breakin’ myself! I can’t believe that they’re takin’ Warren’s wealth! © Warren G
The G Funk Era…5 Footaz, The Twinz, The Dove Shack, Mr. Grimm, Herhey Loc AKA Malik. What a hit or miss lineup of “talent” he had.
Great write up. I laughed, I cried…I did both simultaneously.
One.
January 12th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Genius. Much better than “Skee-Lo’s Guide to Living in the Concrete Jungle.”
January 12th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Or “Montell Jordan’s Guide to How We Do It.”
January 12th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
i had a great time reading this
good work Jeff…
i just want you to review or at least mention Nate’s “never leave me alone” somehow, just cuz that song has been THA SHIT for me in the last 2 months.