Sep
11

Beards, Blazers and Bumbershoot: Day 2 Or Foot-Long Corn Dogs, Human Statues and A Tribe Called Quest

Like many music festivals, Bumbershoot provided more than just music. In many ways, the set-up was like a county fair, with carnival games, rides, comedy shows and most importantly foot-long corn dogs. Now, before arriving at Bumbershoot, I wasn’t even aware of the possibility that humanity was capable of constructing a corn dog 12 inches in length.

At first, I was baffled by the fact that human beings actually eat an entire feet of corn and dog. I considered this might be the most disturbing development since the time I’d heard that they were frying twinkies at the Los Angeles County Fair. (Honestly, who needs to fry a fucking twinkie). But Bumbershoot seemed to evidence a nascent corn dog-mania rising on the American continent, as people throughout the festival queued to devour this delicious deep-friend processed meat.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a long-time fan of the corn dog. In fact, I regard it as one of the most underrated lunch-time cafeteria meals ever (next to the wicked good turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy slop that they used to serve at the Beverly Vista Elementary School). However, I remained uncertain that a corn dog could be satisfactory in such obscene quantities. Oh how wrong I was. Indeed, while it may represent the decline of American civilization thanks to our constant desire to consume more and more of everything, I can safely say that the foot-long corn dogs at Bumbershoot were/are delicious. Sure, you so-called health advocates might wonder about things like heart attacks, clogged arteries and triple by-pass surgeries. However, all I can say in response is to look to the foot-long corn dog for the answer. Sure, that doesn’t make a shred of sense. Logic be damned. To paraphrase something once said in Field of Dreams, If you deep-fry it, they will eat it.

It’s Just Like Miles Davis…If Only Miles Davis Were Clinically Retarded

Another strange element of the festival was an interaction that my friends and I had with a human statue. Of course, my first thought was what in God’s name drives someone to be a human statue. While staring at this monument of weirdness, I couldn’t help but picture myself one day as a father with a son who would do would approach me with a vision:

“Dad…,” my future son would say. “I know what I want to be in life. I want to go to festivals, fairs and crowded shopping areas around the country and stand still for hours at a time while people gawk at me.”

I think at that point, I’d know that I failed at parenthood. Who exactly are the people that become human statues? Has anyone ever discussed life with a human statue? These are all things begging to be answered. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any of these things answered. I’d had an intriguing appointment with Samson about an hour previous and was in no mood to prod the human statue for details on the nature of life. That being said, I want to know how one practices becoming a human statue. How does one cope with such stupefying levels of boredom? I imagine they just watch episodes of Frasier over and over again.

At any rate, watching the human statue and watching people actually giving money to said human statue, made me decide to open a school for human statues. I’m sure I can buy Frasier Crane on DVD and I can probably get David Hyde Pierce to even guest-lecture. I’m sure he’s not doing very much of anything these days.

But David Hyde Pierce jokes aside, the real reason why I came to Bumbershoot was for the music, specifically the back-to-back bill of Atmosphere and A Tribe Called Quest.

Slug: Showing Off His My Chemical Romance T-Shirt and His Latest Attempt To Destroy Any and All Street Cred

I’ve seen Atmosphere three times now and written about it twice, so there’s no real need to write it again. He put on a solid but unspectacular set, practically the same one that he put on at Coachella this year. Atmosphere is a good live performer and a good rapper. His Overcast album is one of my favorite hip-hop albums ever made. And Lucy Ford and God Loves Ugly aren’t too shabby. If you like hip-hop, I advise you to pick them up. I just wish he focused on those songs live, rather than the ones off of his last two albums, 7even’s Travels and You Can’t Believe How Much Fun We’re Having. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. The only old songs that Slug played were “Woman With the Tattoed Hands,” “Shrapnel,” and “God Loves Ugly.”

Download Atmosphere-”Blame Game” from God Loves Ugly

On Q-Tip’s Command, No One in Tribe Called Quest is Allowed to Show Their Face
So Tribe Called Quest rolled into Seattle for their latest stop of their “Getting the Band Back Together” Reunion tour ’06. I’m not sure if the tour is actually called that, but if it isn’t, it should be. Going into the show, I was skeptical as to whether Q-Tip and Phife could still bring it more than a decade after their prime.

Of course, like any hip-hop fan in the 90′s, I worshipped at the alter of Tribe Called Quest. I must’ve played Low End Theory about 8,000 times and still to this day I know every single word to the majority of the album. Of course, there was the greatness of Midnight Marauders and I’ll still throw down for Beats, Rhymes and Life and The Love Movement if even some of those songs were abominable (“Da Booty” anyone?). I’ll never forgot one fabled week my Junior Year of High School when Aquemini, Hard Knock Life Volume 2. and The Love Movement came out and how I might’ve been the most excited to hear the Tribe album (in hindsight, that was prolly the wrong instinct). Or when I saw The Source cover with the details of the Tribe break-up and immediately viewed this as a horrible blight on the face of humanity. Needless to say, I liked the group.

So it was a pleasant surprise to see that even at their advanced age, neither Phife nor Tip had lost a thing on the mic. From the first strains of “Buggin’ Out,” the crowd went nuts, as the duo, delivered a dynamic set, clearly reveling in their newfound status as hip-hop’s elder statesmen. As one might expect, Tip and Phife showcased unparalled chemistry on-stage, never missing a beat, chiming in on each other’s ad-libs and knowing every word of the other’s lyrics.

In particular, Phife was much better than I expected. Spending all “that time with his children” (because we’ll just pretend that that was the reason why he was absent from music for the last decade) seemed to pay off, as his voice has aged into a raspy but powerful growl. Gone is the boyish, non-threatening sounding Phife that you heard on the old albums. In his place is a fiery Junior Reid sounding voice that mixed well with Q-Tips’s timeless “I’ve just inhaled a tank of helium” pitch.

As it should’ve been, the set was heavy on their Greatest Hits, focused mainly on Low End Theory and Midnight Marauders material. “Buggin Out,” segued to a Busta Rhymes-less “Oh My God,” to “Jazz” to “Butta” to “Sucka Niggaz,” which provided an unintentionally hilarious moment when Tip exhorted the crowd to sing along. Needless to say, you will never see anything more awkward than 10,000 lily-white Washingtonites gulping their throats and trying to mouth the words “sucka nigga.”

From there, Tribe launched into “Steve Biko (Stir It Up)” which got the crowd going nuts, singing along to every word. Then weirdly enough, Tip performed “Vivrant Thing,” from his abortion of a solo album Amplified. One couldn’t help but wonder what the rest of the group thought about that decision, considering it wasn’t like Phife was about to bust out hits from Ventilation: Da Lp. Then again, only three people actually listened to that album. All of them members of Phife’s family.

Following Tip’s solo track, the group launched into “Hot Sex On a Platter,” a little heard track from the Boomerang Soundtrack.

Sadly, Eddie Murphy Lost Out on His Original Goal: Replacing Robin Givens and Halle Berry with a Pair Of Trannies In Need of Rides Home

At this point, Tribe decided it was time to bring out the big guns, trotting out a hall of fame trio of songs, “Bonita Applebum,” “Electric Relaxation,” and “Can I Kick It?” After making the fans cheer for an encore, the group returned to deliver another stellar triumvirate: “Scenario,” “Check the Rhime,” and “Award Tour,” to rounds of thunderous applause.

All in all, Tribe definitely put on a good show, as good as you’re going to find in hip-hop, a genre of music sadly dominated by musicians who think a live show is playing abbreviated versions of songs punctuated by gun-shots (yeah..I’m looking at you Mobb Deep). Watching the group that had been my favorite in high school made me a bit sad, considering that no group since Tribe has emerged that could match their energy, charisma and mic skills. We’re pretty far from Hip-Hop’s golden age, but for an hour and fifteen minutes in Washington, Tribe Called Quest did their best to make you forget.

Download A Tribe Called Quest–”The Hop” from Beats, Rhymes and Life

18 comments

  1. David says:

    On behalf of white people everywhere, I would like to personally apologize for the spectacle that was the thousands of white Washingtonians thundering, in unison, the hook to “Sucka N!@#$.” I’m very sorry.

  2. KaLiBLeeK says:

    Very glad to hear Tribe did their thing. Phife’s Ventilation album was severely underrated.

    And far be it for me to nit-pick, but I don’t think the photo of the 12″ corndog could look any more…inappropriate.

  3. Passion of the Weiss says:

    Oh…it could…strangely enough that was the most appropriate photo I could find on the web…google 12-inch corn dog and you’ll get some results that no man should ever be forced to see…

    I never actually heard Ventilation…but I’d be curious too. I’ve never actually known anyone who picked it up…but the production on it did look pretty tight.

  4. Passion of the Weiss says:

    excuse me…foot long corn dog is a much weirder google search…I hope I haven’t been put on some sort of gvt. list.

  5. Rap Jack Bauer says:

    “That being said, I want to know how one practices becoming a human statue. How does one cope with such stupefying levels of boredom? I imagine they just watch episodes of Frasier over and over again”

    That was classic.

    Do you know what I like most about Tribe reuniting every year to tour? They’re NOT making a new album, they’re just hitting the road to make good money and play all the songs people want to hear. Sure, fans beg and plead for them to stick together and record some new shit, but honestly, how many people would ACTUALLY buy that album?
    With Dilla gone, Ali making “experimental” (read: garbage) rap albums, Phife collecting social security and Tip making shelved albums for major labels and “acting” in b-movies, how good COULD a new Tribe album be? No one would want to hear them perform those songs live anyway. They’re giving longtime Tribe fans what they want–classic songs that take everyone back to a better time in their lives.

    How f*cking cool would LL Cool J be if he stopped making albums and just toured every year, performing “Mama Said Knock You Out,” “Going Back to Cali,” and “Jingling?”

  6. Nate says:

    The only difference is that Mr Ladies Love has a deep female fan base that rushes to the store to buy whatever garbage he decides to drop…So I guess he has a reason to keep making records???

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    Sony Ericcson P990i…$180us Dollars.
    Sony Ericsson P900i…$160us Dollars.
    Sony Ericsson P800i…$170us Dollars.
    Sony Ericsson M600i…$280us Dollars.
    Sony Ericsson M608i…$300us Dollars.

    Motorola E36………….$120us Dollars.
    Motorola E398…………$140us Dollars.
    Motorola RAZR V3………$100us Dollars.
    Motorola V3x………….$130us Dollars
    Motorola V3i D&G………$150us Dollars.
    Motorola V3i………….$180us Dollars.

    Samsung D600………….$180us Dollars.
    Samsung D500………….$160us Dollars.
    Samsung E600………….$150us Dollars.
    Samsung E800………….$160us Dollars.
    Samsung P510………….$120us Dollars.

    T-Mobile sidekick 3……$150us Dollars.
    T-Mobile Sidekick 2 …..$110us Dollars.

    Treo 700w…………….$220us Dollars.
    Treo 650……………..$170us Dollars.
    Treo 700p…………….$230us Dollars.

    Apple IP-Phones 8GB……$300us Dollars.
    Apple IP-Phones 4GB……$230us Dollars.

    Xbox360 Platinum System..$200us Dollars.
    Xbox360 System Bundle….$170us Dollars.
    Xbox360 Core System Bundle$160us Dollars
    Xbox360 Core Bundle……$150us Dollars.
    Xbox360 Live Bundle……$160us Dollars.

    I-mate JASJAM…………$230us Dollars.
    I-mate JASJAR…………$200us Dollars.
    I-mate k-JAM………….$180us Dollars.

    I-mate JAQ4…………..$280us Dollars.
    I-mate JAQ3…………..$260us Dollars.
    I-mate PDAL…………..$240us Dollars.

    I-mate Ultimate 9150…..$380us Dollars.
    I-mate Ultimate 8150…..$360us Dollars.
    I-mate Ultimate 7150…..$340us Dollars.
    I-mate Ultimate 6150…..$290us Dollars.
    I-mate Ultimate 5150…..$250us Dollars.

    TOM TOM GO 500………..$150us Dollars.
    TOM TOM GO 510………..$200us Dollars.
    TOM TOM GO 700………..$220us Dollars.
    TOM TOM GO 910………..$280us Dollars.
    TOM TOM GO 300………..$190us Dollars.

    Blackberry 8300 curve….$350us Dollars.
    Blackberry 8800……….$200us Dollars.
    Blackberry 8700c………$200us Dollars.
    Blackberry 8700f………$230us Dollars.

    ETEN G500…………….$200USD
    Eten M500…………….$180USD
    ETEN M600…………….$200USD

    Apple Ipod video 30GB………………….$130us Dollars.
    Apple Ipod video 60GB………………….$190us Dollars.
    Apple Ipod Nano 4GB…………………….$90us Dollars.
    Apple Ipod Nano 2GB…………………….$75us Dollars.
    Apple 6 GB iPod Mini Silver M9801LL/A ……$50us Dollars.
    Apple 20 GB iPod M9282LL/A………………$35us Dollars.
    Apple 4 GB iPod Mini Pink M9435LL/A ……..$35us Dollars.
    Apple iPod 1GB Shuffle …………………$80us Dollars.

    Note : If you are interested in purchasing any particular item from us, kindly send to us an email with your enquiries to the company email address below :

    Contact Name : Rahman Manurah

    E-mail : hajicustomercare@mail2world.com

    Our website : http://www.worldwideshopping.8m.com

    Thanks & God Bless.

    Nokia N95 for sale $300us Dollars, Playstation 3 60GB for sale $180us Dollars.

  18. Anonymous says:

    We are importer & exporter dealers on all brand new and used models of television sets at very cheap price with complete accessories. We are good / great in selling to bulks buyers and also individuals buyers.

    We have alots of items available for sale now, if you are interested in purchasing any one of them, kindly send to us an email with your enquiries to the company email address below :

    Contact Name : Rahman Manurah

    E-mail : hajicustomercare@mail2world.com

    Our website : http://www.worldwideshopping.8m.com

    Samsung HL-R4266W 42 in Rear-Projection DLP TV…………..$400us Dollars.
    Samsung HL-R5688W 56 in Rear-Projection DLP TV…………..$550us Dollars.
    Samsung HL-R5667W 56 in Rear-Projection DLP TV…………..$500us Dollars.
    Samsung HLR5078W 50 in Rear-Projection DLP TV……………$500us Dollars.
    Samsung HP-R4252 42 in Flat Panel Plasma TV……………..$450us Dollars.
    Samsung HL-R5067W 50 in Rear-Projection DLP TV…………..$450us Dollars.
    Samsung LN-R408D 40 in Flat Panel LCD TV………………..$400us Dollars.
    Samsung HL-R4667W 46 in Rear-Projection DLP TV…………..$400us Dollars.
    Samsung LN-R268W 26 in Flat Panel LCD TV………………..$350us Dollars.
    Samsung SlimFit TX-R3079WH 30 in Flat CRT TV…………….$350us Dollars.
    Samsung LN-R268W 26 in Flat Panel LCD TV………………..$300us Dollars.

    Sharp Aquos LC-45GX6U 45 in Flat Panel LCD TV……………$500us Dollars.
    Sharp Aquos LC-45GD7U 45 in Flat Panel LCD TV……………$450us Dollars.
    Sharp Aquos LC-37D7U 37 in Flat Panel LCD TV…………….$400us Dollars.
    Sharp Aquos LC-32DA5U 32 in Flat Panel LCD TV……………$350us Dollars.
    Sharp Aquos LC45GD4U 45 in Flat Panel LCD TV…………….$350us Dollars.
    Sharp Aquos LC-26DA5U 26 in LCD TV……………………..$300us Dollars.
    Sharp Aquos LC-20S4U 20 in Flat Panel LCD TV…………….$250us Dollars.

    Pioneer PureVision PDP-5060HD 50 in Flat Panel Plasma TV….$500us Dollars.
    Panasonic Onyx TH50PX500U 50 in Flat Panel Plasma TV……..$500us Dollars.
    Panasonic TH-50PHD8UK 50 in Flat Panel Plasma TV…………$500us Dollars.
    Panasonic TH-42PHD8UK 42 in Flat Panel Plasma TV…………$400us Dollars.
    Panasonic TH-42PWD8UK 42 in Flat Panel Plasma TV…………$350us Dollars.

    Sony Wega KDF-E50A10 50 in LCD Rear-Projection TV………..$450us Dollars.
    Sony Wega KDL-V40XBR1 40 in Flat Panel LCD TV……………$400us Dollars.
    Sony Wega KD-36FS130 36 in Flat Screen TV……………….$400us Dollars.
    Sony Wega KLV-S32A10 32 in Flat Panel LCD TV…………….$300us Dollars.

    Sony BRAVIA XBR KDL-V32XBR1 32 in Flat Panel LCD TV………$350us Dollars.
    Sony BRAVIA KLV-S26A10 26 in Flat Panel LCD TV…………..$300us Dollars.

    Sony Grand WEGA KDF-E60A20 60 in Rear-Projection LCD TV……….$600us Dollars.
    Sony Grand WEGA SXRD KDS-R60XBR1 60 in Rear-Projection LCoS TV…$600us Dollars.
    Sony Grand WEGA KDF-E55A20 55 in LCD Rear-Projection TV……….$550us Dollars.
    Sony Grand WEGA KDF-E55A20 55 in LCD Rear-Projection TV……….$500us Dollars.
    Sony Grand WEGA SXRD KDS-R50XBR1 50 in Rear-Projection LCoS TV…$450us Dollars.
    Sony Grand WEGA KDFE42A10 42 in LCD Rear-Projection TV………..$400us Dollars.

    Note : If you are interested in purchasing any particular item from us, kindly send to us an email with your enquiries to the company email address below :

    Contact Name : Rahman Manurah

    E-mail : hajicustomercare@mail2world.com

    Our website : http://www.worldwideshopping.8m.com

    Thanks & God Bless.

    Discount Plasma tv sets / Lcd tv sets for sale.

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