Jan
30

A Bad Batch of Ecstasy

People aren’t as dumb as you think. They’re dumber. No, I’m not referring to the fact that Big Momma’s House 2, had the second-highest January box office gross ever (this is a different blog for a different time). No, I’m referring to the exercise in stupidity and pretension known as the Ecstasy: In and About… Continue reading »

Jan
27

Fridays Are For Passion…Unadulterated Passion

When Neil Young asks if you’re passionate you’re damn right that you better answer in the affirmative. And when Jeff Weiss asks you the same question, you better look at him and ask him how much he’s smoked today. The answer of course, is nothing, being the faintly responsible employee that I am, but hopefully… Continue reading »

Jan
24

I’m a Good Person, I Drive a Prius

The other day I was driving a conservative 80 miles an hour when I decided that my lane was moving much too slowly for my tastes. Understandably, I veered into the adjacent lane where I subsequently cut off the driver of a maroon Nissan Sentra. But instead of him peacefully allowing entry into my preferred… Continue reading »

Jan
23

One Week Later, Ethiopian Village Continues to Be Devastated Over Gown Gaffe

One week after the fashion mix-up heard around the world, Ethiopian villagers from the tiny town of Adado continue to report that they still are distressed over Chanel’s gross negligence in lending Reese Witherspoon a dress that had formerly been worn by Kirsten Dunst. “I’ve been over it so many times in my head and… Continue reading »

Jan
20

The Missing Links

It’s Friday, bringing with it the postive nostalgia of being 7-years old and not being able to wait to get out of school to watch “Full House” and “Family Matters” on ABC’s T.G.I.F. program. Now 17 years later, I can’t wait to get out of work to go home and watch “Dancing With the Stars.”… Continue reading »

Jan
10

When Keeping It Real Goes Right

“Everybody, everybody, let’s get into it. Get stupid. Get it started, get it started, get it started. Let’s get it started (ha), let’s get it started in here.” If you haven’t been hanging out with me lately that’s what I’ve been singing non-stop: The Black Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get it Started.” Why am I singing… Continue reading »

Jan
04

Soul of Mark Twain Hopes For a Hotter Self in Next Reincarnation

“I mean, sure it can be depressing at times,” the ghost of Mark Twain revealed to the Passion of the Weiss, when considering the last physical incarnation his soul has taken since it first left the earth in 1910. “Why can’t I be placed into the body of a hot 19-year old girl? Why is… Continue reading »